


wasteland, baby!

by smallghostkid



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, JUST GUYS BEIN DUDES, M/M, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-11-26 01:53:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20922221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallghostkid/pseuds/smallghostkid
Summary: Cody's in Duke when this whole thing starts. With no other way to contact his family, he makes his way to Canada... with the help of a guy who just saved his life at a deserted supermarket.





	wasteland, baby!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emeraldcitydowntowngirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldcitydowntowngirl/gifts).

> wow i haven’t written a tmg fic in a WHILE and then i come back with this smh this was originally only going to be 2k words but here we are,,, 20 thousand fucking words later
> 
> hozier talked about wasteland, baby! being a series of songs for the end of the world and i felt like that title suited this fic‘s vibe pretty well and if you wanna listen to the songs i used in the fic i made a [playlist here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2OMZUadldd0VDwXkj0dRD9) (mainly just filled with songs that the radio station in this fic would have played)
> 
> i had cody wear his glasses in this bc honestly that’s a, dare i say it, TOP tier look on him 
> 
> also thank you so much to my best friend for giving me the motivation to finish this mess and letting me bounce ideas off her youre the real mvp :,((( hope you like it <3
> 
> inspired by zombieland esp with the location nicknames

Nighttime, Cody’s come to realize, is the worst fucking time. 

With nothing to help guide him through the darkness but the occasional moonlight shining through the passing clouds, it’s a little hard to get around and try not to die at the same time.

He pushes his glasses up on the bridge of his nose a little higher and pulls the straps of his backpack tighter. It was currently the middle of summer and hot as fucking hell, but fear had him shivering and he had to bite down on his tongue to keep his teeth from chattering. Every little sound made him jump and left his heart pounding much too loudly in his ears until it was the only thing he could hear.

It was starting to get hard to find a safe space to sleep at night. He’d been lucky so far and hadn’t had any major run-ins with zombies, largely due to the fact that he was following Devon and Marcus’ advice. 

He ends up huddled up underneath the desk of an abandoned office an hour later with his back pressed tightly against the hardwood and his head pillowed on his backpack. 

He’s not exactly sure what state he’s in right now (he’s never really been good with reading a map or following directions, that had mostly been Devon’s job on this journey), and he's not sure how long he’s been walking for either, but he _thinks_ he’s in Arkansas— which, by the way, who the hell decides to spell a place like that and then have it be pronounced like _that?_— so hopefully it won’t be that much longer until he reaches Alberta. 

He sighs and takes off his glasses to rub at his face and then closes his eyes, trying his best to fall asleep and to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest. 

***

The next night, he finds a deserted minivan in the middle of the street to sleep in. He tried to hot-wire it but gave up after a couple of hours of frustration, realizing he had no idea what the hell he was doing. God, they’d really made this shit look so much easier in the movies.

The streets are emptier than Cody would’ve imagined. He’s not sure how long it’s been since this zombie apocalypse all started, but he knows that this infection had spread incredibly fast. Everywhere he’s walked to, it’s been almost completely barren, almost _too_ eerily empty, that Cody’s had no luck in finding help from anyone else in all of this. The only upside had been that with so many people gone and so many places left abandoned, he's had no problem breaking into stores and other buildings whenever he needed food or a place to rest.

What sucked was that, even if his phone wasn't dead, it had no service or wifi. So, he didn’t even have the company of a distraction or the help of the internet or google maps or whatever to help him make this trip somewhat easier. Which might have been the worst part of all; having to deal with his own thoughts with nothing to help drown them out.

He attempts to hot-wire the minivan again when he wakes up the next day, but after a couple more failed attempts, he groans and lets his head fall against the steering wheel in frustration. It causes the visor overhead to fall open and, miraculously, a spare set of keys falls out.

“Oh, thank god,” Cody breathes out. There’d been no way in hell he would’ve been able to get this car started any other way.

The car won’t take him all the way to Canada. The tank is less than half full, but it’s way better than nothing at all and it’s a well-deserved break from having to walk, so Cody‘s not complaining.

He knows he won’t find anything, but he scans the radio anyway, hoping that by some dumb luck there’ll be something on. He scans through the stations of static for a bit and he's about to give up when he finally lands on one playing something. The numbers 99.1 glow on the dashboard as an [upbeat song](https://youtu.be/TKTbbf4z1PQ?t=8) blares out. 

It's different to what he'd usually listen to. He’s not sure if he even likes it, but it’s the most company he’s had in a while so he cranks up the volume and starts to drive.

“_And I swear we were the only ones to see the comet crash into the sun... Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh,_" the guy in the song sings and Cody drums his fingers along to the beat, trying to imagine who in the world was out there taking the time to broadcast their favorite songs to whoever was able to listen during the end of the world.

"_The universe is like a ton of lead crushing down upon my little head... Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh_," the guy continues to sing, and somehow it helps makes him feel less alone. 

*** 

Cody still has family out in Canada.

At least, he's hoping that he still does. He doesn’t even want to imagine what he'd do if he found his mom, dad, and sister dead or, worse... as zombies.

He’s tried calling them a million times when this all began.

And then a million more times after that even though the service on his phone was no longer working, knowing that the call wouldn’t go through, but trying anyway. Kept trying until his phone died and he was just staring at his own reflection in the black screen.

He doesn’t know if his family is okay, if they're alive, or if they're still even there in his hometown.

All he does know is that he’s going to make it back to Canada to find out no matter what.

***

The radio station starts to get all staticky after an hour of driving, droning in and out of being audible, so Cody just shuts it off in frustration. But now, with no distractions, his mind takes the time to start running freely and remembering how he ended up in this situation.

It’s not a position Cody ever thought he’d be in— not that anyone else had ever taken the time to plan out their life in accordance to what they’d do if a zombie apocalypse were to ever occur, but... 

He’d been studying at Duke when it all started. Got to witness firsthand how so many of his classmates and professors got torn apart and attacked by the zombies that had managed to infiltrate the campus.

He had left the university and started to make his way to Canada not too long after that. Devon and Marcus, his best friends since they were practically in diapers, right along with him. The situation had been shitty, but at least he hadn’t been alone throughout the whole ordeal. At least he had had Devon and Marcus by his side, his best friends that he trusted with his life and relied on as they all tried to make their way back to their families.

He’d thought that as long as they were together, they’d be invincible. Was willing to be ignorant enough to believe and hope for it.

Marcus’ screams ring in his ears the moment the radio cuts off. It's become a constant echo in his mind, a sort of fucked-up version of tinnitus that he can't drone out. Cody’s breath quickens and he stops the car abruptly. He takes his glasses off and sets them on the dashboard before hastily climbing over to the backseat.

He lays down on the floor, clinging onto himself and shuts his eyes impossibly tight to try and stop the images of Devon’s insides, spilled out around his feet, from reappearing in his mind but they're burned into it.

He stays there, clinging onto himself as tightly as he can as if that was going to keep him from falling apart until the sun came up again.

***

The car runs out of gas halfway through the next day. Cody’s surprised it lasted as long as it did.

He ends up not too far away from a deserted convenience store in the middle of nowhere, though, and he hops out of the car excitedly. He fixes his glasses, slings his backpack over his shoulder, and starts to make his way towards it.

He hasn’t slept since he’s started driving the minivan and he feels like he's about to collapse from exhaustion at any moment, but he pushes on.

He opens the door slowly when he finally makes it to the building, scanning the room to make sure no one else was inside before making his way in. He makes a beeline directly towards the food, suddenly hyper-aware of how hungry he is and how loudly his stomach is growling.

“Okay, okay,” he says to it when it lets out another loud growl and then tears into a bag of chips. He lets out a small moan when he takes a bite— and hey, when was the last time he had eaten?— and keeps stuffing more into his mouth as he starts making his way towards the refrigerated station to grab some water, chugging it down in seconds. He grabs a couple more bottles to stuff into his backpack, then starts to walk around the store like that; stuffing other things he deems necessary inside, not sure when the next time he’ll reach another store with food will be.

He doesn’t pick up on the sound of footsteps coming towards him until it’s too late, and then suddenly the air is filled with the sound of a gun going off. Cody dives down to the floor immediately, glasses falling off his face and skittering across the floor a few feet away in front of him. He hears something else hit the floor behind him, but he doesn't turn to look.

“Shit,” he swears and shuffles forward to reach for his glasses as quickly as he can when he starts to hear the footsteps get closer. The sound of a gun getting reloaded fills the air and Cody freezes for a second.

He shoves his glasses back on his face and turns around to see another guy standing at the end of the aisle, AK-47 pointed directly at him. Cody feels the blood drain out of his face and he holds his breath as the guy stares at him, eyes narrowed and calculating, before turning his attention to another sound just behind Cody.

The guy moves the gun a few inches to the left and then pulls the trigger. Cody follows the guy’s line of vision, finally looking behind him and gasps when he sees the motionless body of a zombie on the ground a few feet away from him. A bullet wound going through his stomach and the other one through the head. He breathes out a small _what the fuck?_ and turns back to look at the guy still holding the gun, aim trained back on him.

The other guy, who looks to be around the same age and height as Cody, steps closer to him. Cody’s not sure what to do, can't really do much with a gun trained on him, so he just stares back.

“I should be asking you the same thing,” the guy says and takes a step closer. “What the fuck are you doing here, bro?”

“Hey, man, I was just hungry,” Cody responds and holds his hands up to show the backpack filled with chips and water. “Really that’s all I was here for. I’ll leave, just, okay can you stop pointing that thing at me, it’s freaking me out.”

"You don't have anything on you?" he asks, looking Cody over as if he were hiding his own Ak-fucking-47 behind his back, waiting for an opening to attack.

"Dude, no!" Cody insists and shows him the backpack full of food again, shaking it a little. "I just wanted some Funyuns!"

The guy looks him over a couple more times before finally lowering the gun, most likely coming to the conclusion that Cody was, indeed, not a threat, and then slinging it over his back. He walks over to Cody and bends down a little, holding his hand out for Cody to take.

“Dude, what’re you doing out here alone _and_ unarmed?” 

Cody looks at the hand offered to him and can’t help but notice the guy has nice hands, which... is a weird thought so Cody shakes his head and takes it, standing up and wobbling a little on his feet.

He steadies himself against the shelves and then shrugs, hand going up to fix his glasses. “Haven’t really run into any trouble until now.”

The guy eyes him a little unbelievably before asking, “Where you coming from, man?”

“North Carolina,” Cody responds. “I go— well, I was _going_ to Duke when this whole thing happened, but now I’m just trying to get back to Canada to see my family.”

The guy, who had been eyeing his backpack curiously, looks up and gives him a skeptical look.

“Wait,” he starts. “Let me get this straight... You,” he points at Cody, “were in North Carolina,” he points up. Cody nods a little slowly, not sure where he was going with this. The guy crosses his arms over his chest and gives him an amused look. “And you’ve been trying to make your way to Canada.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Uh, yeah dude. That’s legit was I just said,” Cody answers anyway.

“Bruh, what the fuck are you doing here in Tampa swamp-ass-humidity Florida, then?”

Okay... that takes Cody by surprise. He opens and closes his mouth like a fish a couple of times before replying weakly with, “Florida?” Holy _shit_, had he read that map completely wrong.

The guy’s face breaks out into a shit-eating grin before he doubles over laughing, holding onto his sides. “Oh, fuck,” he lets out a loud laugh, but it’s not a mean one. It sounds more like he’s laughing _with_ Cody than _at_ him, even though Cody doesn’t really feel like laughing right now. “This dude... didn’t even know... he was in... fucking _Florida_,” he gasps out in between laughs and wipes at an eye.

Cody feels his face heat up and he crosses and uncrosses his arms over his chest a little self consciously. “Yeah? Well, let’s see how easy it is for _you_ to read an old ass map then, fucking... Mr. Go, Diego, Go! over here...” he mutters lamely.

That makes the guy laugh even harder and Cody can’t help but smile despite himself at the sound. It was a contagious laugh.

The guy eventually straightens back up, smiling widely as he claps a hand down onto Cody’s shoulder. “Ay, man, you look fucking tired. Come on, you can crash in the back.”

The guy turns around and walks towards the back of the store, not even checking to see if Cody’s following. Cody bites his lip, unsure of what to do, but then shrugs and follows after him. The guy did just save his life after all... and he really _was_ fucking tired. 

***

“Huh,” Cody says as he steps into the back room. “So this is how you showed up out of nowhere to save the day.”

The place surprisingly looks a little lived in. Empty food bags litter around the top of a small table, but besides that, the room is pretty clean. A couple of shirts are folded neatly on top of a desk, multiple water bottles and protein bars surrounding them. 

The other guy snorts in amusement and sets his gun down on a table before sitting down in an old, worn leather chair.

“Nah, I was actually outside, but my spidey senses just started tingling and I knew someone needed help.” Cody’s eyes widen a little at that and the other guy lets out a low chuckle. “Bro, I’m kidding.”

Cody shrugs. “Yeah, well, I’ve seen weirder shit happen recently. Spidey senses actually sound like the most normal thing to come out of this. And maybe the coolest.”

The guy eyes him thoughtfully before nodding. “Yeah, guess you have a point there.” He points a thumb behind him to some shitty security camera screens. “But nah, I just saw you on the cameras. I was gonna leave you alone, but then I saw that you were too busy eating to even notice the zombie sneaking up on your ass. Almost out there risking it all for some Sour cream onion chips.” The guy smiles jokingly.

“Hey, tell me those aren't good enough to die for,” Cody shoots back, but then adds more sincerely, “Thank you, by the way. You really saved my life back there.”

“Don’t mention it,” the guy says nonchalantly. Like it’s nothing. Like it’s something he does all the time. “You must’ve not slept in days either though, dude. You’re starting to look like a fucking zombie yourself. Almost shot you by accident out there.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Cody laughs.

"Dark circles so big thought they were some type of crater on your face." 

"Hey-"

"Lookin' like some type of zombie/skeleton mix, I thought you were a new breed."

"Okay, god, I get it, I look fucking tired," Cody says exasperatedly, but he's laughing and the guy smiles back at him before pointing over to a makeshift mattress on the other side of the room.

Cody walks towards it, takes his glasses off and then collapses into it face first with a grunt. “Thank you,” he muffles out against the pillow.

“Yeah, yeah. G’night, Canada.”

Cody falls asleep before he can think of a response. 

***

He wakes up sometime later to the feeling of something poking his cheek. He groggily tries to swat it away but it keeps poking him so he opens his eyes slowly to find the other guy grinning down at him, an amused little eyebrow raise on his face.

From this close, Cody can see how light and pretty the guy’s eyes are. Huh.

“Sorry, man,” he says, not sounding sorry at all, “but you’ve been sleeping for 12 hours and thought you might wanna wake up to eat some more now.”

He tosses a berry yogurt parfait into Cody's lap and then moves to sit down on his chair, opening his own parfait.

"Thanks," Cody mumbles, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, before putting his glasses on and opening up the parfait.

"Don't mention it," the guy replies again, just like he did before in relation to saving Cody's life and Cody looks up to study him curiously.

He doesn't seem like the kind of guy to be out and about, killing zombies. His frame is really skinny, and Cody wonders if it's for lack of food or if the guy has always been this thin. The gun seems too big for him, foreign-looking in his hands, but Cody's seen that he knows how to work it— that he knows how to kill with it. He also notices the guy is _alone._

"So, are you from Florida?" Cody asks conversationally as he eats.

The guy shakes his head. "Nah, I've just been sort of just traveling around since this thing started. Pretty much been to every state by now." 

"Alone?" There's a flicker of something dark in the guy's eyes, but it disappears so quickly Cody feels like maybe he imagined it. 

"Yeah, alone. But at least I'm armed. Don't need anyone else coming in to save my ass," he smirks over at Cody humorously. 

Cody doesn't reply. Instead, he just nods and keeps eating, thinking things over in his head. The guy was alone... knew how to work a gun... had been around the country enough to know his way around... and he was good looking too.

... Not that that last piece of information mattered or anything, but Cody looked over at the guy again, consideringly. 

“I think you should help me get to Canada,” Cody announces after he’s finished eating. He pushes his glasses up to rest on his nose better.

The guy quirks an eyebrow up in amusement and huffs out a breath. “Oh, yeah? And why do you think that?”

Cody licks his lips and looks the guy in the eyes. “We both found out I can’t read a fucking map to save my life.”

“Yeah, you know, I was gonna ask you about that, actually. How the hell did you get into Duke, m-“

“That’s beside the point,” Cody waves him off, feeling heat rushing to his cheeks. “Point is, I can’t read old ass maps and I don't know the States well enough know to be able to make it to Canada alone."

"And that's my problem... how?" the guy questions, but he looks amused and Cody thinks he's been on board with the idea the moment Cody had suggested it.

"I think we can both use each other’s help. Team up for a little bit, ya know? I know how lonely it can get out here on your own." Cody replies seriously. Then he pouts his bottom lip out jokingly. "Plus, you wouldn't want to throw me out and have to fend for myself would you?" 

The guy huffs out a small laugh and shakes his head. He lets his eyes travel over Cody carefully like he's considering if it would be worth it or not, and Cody feels his ears burn a little at the intense gaze.

The guy then tips his head back against the head of the chair and looks up at the ceiling, the fingers of his right hand drumming on the armrest. Eventually, after what feels like hours (but was probably closer to a minute) he responds with,

“Alright. I’ll help you get to Canada.”

"Sweet," Cody grins widely.

"But if you end up being super annoying or some shit, I'm dippin' and leaving your sorry ass to fend for itself," the guy warns and he leans forward, holding his hand out for Cody to shake. "Deal?"

"You got a fucking deal, babeyyy," Cody reaches out to take the guy's hand and waggles his eyebrows at him exaggeratedly. 

The guy sighs and mutters something about _already regretting this_, but shakes Cody’s hand.

Cody beams up at him.

***

“So, what’s your name?” 

They’ve been walking for an hour on a long empty highway and it had just now occurred to Cody that he hasn’t even asked the whole time he’s known the guy.

“You can just call me Tampa,” the other guy replies and it kinda sounds like he’s joking, but also not. Cody turns to give him an unimpressed look.

“Alright, fine. Since we’re using where we came from as our names, you can call me Duke.”

“Nah, I think Ima stick to calling you Canada, Canada,” the other guy grins.

“Alright, fine then. I guess I’ll call you Asshole.” 

The guy chuckles. “Maybe try _'Guy-Who-Just-Saved-My-Life-And-Is-Gonna-Haul-My-Ass-To-Canada-Out-Of-The-Goodness-Of-His-Heart_.'”

Cody lets a beat of silence pass before answering.

“Nah, I think I’m gonna call you Asshole.”

The guy, Tampa, throws his head back to laugh and Cody smiles back. 

***

It’s strange how comfortable Cody feels around Tampa. Like he can trust him with his life (not like he hadn't already saved it) even though he’s barely met the guy a little less than a week ago.

Tampa’s just such an easy-going and carefree guy, it's such a nice change from the chaos everywhere else around them. He’s able to joke around about almost anything and his laughter and charming personality make Cody bubble up with happiness he hasn’t felt since this whole thing started.

They end up finding an abandoned car on the side of the road and Tampa actually does know how to hot-wire vehicles—seriously who was this guy?— so they hop in and start driving down the road.

Cody turns on the radio and crosses his fingers when he lands on 99.1, hoping that it'll work like it had the time before. [A spanish song with an upbeat tempo ](https://youtu.be/7zp1TbLFPp8?t=97)comes on and Tampa and Cody start to jokingly fist pump to the beat, before eventually getting into it for real and dancing in their seats.

“Can’t believe someone’s broadcasting music out there during all of this,” Tampa says after the song is over. He’s tapping his fingers absentmindedly on the steering wheel along to the beat of the next song that comes on.

“Guess we’re all out here trying to do something in all of this,” Cody replies, watching the tapping fingers in interest.

Tampa looks at him thoughtfully for a bit, as if Cody had actually said something important before turning back to look at the road.

“Yeah, guess you’re right,” he mumbles. His fingers are still tapping against the steering wheel, but it looks more like an anxious tick now.

***

The car breaks down a day later and Tampa tells him there’s a town a few hours up ahead that they can rest at if they start walking now.

“Come on, Canada,” he says as he hops out. He slings the gun over his shoulder and holds it in front of him, scanning the area carefully to make sure there’s nothing around. “Sooner we start walking, sooner we can get some rest.”

Cody climbs out, stuffing the flashlight they’d found in the glove compartment into his backpack before slinging it over his shoulder.

"God, I'm fucking starving," Cody whines and makes a face when Tampa offers him one of his nasty protein bars. "I'd rather starve," he jokes.

"Suit yourself," Tampa shrugs and goes to take a bite out of it. Cody's stomach rumbles almost instantly and he eyes Tampa out of the corner of his eye.

He gives in not even ten seconds later.

"Alright, fine, sheesh, twist my arm! I'll take some of your nasty, diet/health food!" 

Tampa rolls his eyes but he breaks off a piece and hands it over to Cody who makes a face the entire time he eats it, but it helps settle his stomach.

"Man, don't act like you won't eat anything," Tampa laughs when Cody opens his hand for Tampa to break off another piece of the bar.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, this shit is disgusting," Cody replies as he takes a bite into the piece Tampa handed him. "Nowhere near _I'd-Die-For-These-Sour-Cream-Onion-Chips_ worthy, but it'll have to do." 

"Uh-huh," Tampa says as Cody asks for another piece. "That's why you're finishing all my fucking food."

Cody just smiles widely over at him, totally unapologetic. Tampa shakes his head, but he lets Cody have the last piece anyway.

***

Zombies smell really fucking weird.

Not that he expected them to smell like roses and sunshine or anything, but it’s also something that he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to. The smell of death and rotten corpse isn’t really something he’s ever had to deal with before until now.

Tampa shoots the unmoving zombie body in the head again and Cody winces. That’s another thing he doesn’t think he’ll get used to. The sound of a gun.

“Better safe than sorry,” Tampa murmurs before stepping around the mess and making a beeline towards the food aisle.

Cody takes one more look at the remains, losing his appetite, and quickly turns to follow Tampa.

***

“You’re, like, strangely used to this, aren’t you?” Cody asks Tampa as he checks around the rest of the store to make sure there are no more zombies hidden around. Once he deems it safe, he makes his way to the backroom and Cody follows, grabbing food and water along the way.

Tampa shrugs with one shoulder. “You could say that.”

He's been wondering about Tampa's life for a while now. It was a good distraction from having to think of his own.

Did he have family out there? Did he have any friends with him, like Cody had, or had he been alone from the very beginning? Had he been with someone but then lost them along the way? Is that why he was all alone? 

“Were you ever with someone? Before?” Cody asks before he can think of keeping his mouth shut and immediately regrets it. 

Tampa doesn’t answer, but his whole body tenses up and Cody feels incredibly guilty. They stay quiet as they sit down in the back and eat their food. Cody wants to apologize for trying to be nosy, but can’t think of anything to say without making it more awkward so he just stays silent.

“We should get some sleep,” Tampa says after they’ve eaten. “We can make it to the next town before the sun goes down if we head out early enough.”

Cody nods and runs a hand through his hair, taking his glasses off and setting them down next to his head as he lays down.

Tampa doesn’t lay down yet. He gets up to throw away their trash and then paces back and forth for a little while. He looks uncharacteristically on edge and Cody can't help feel at fault for it.

He eventually settles down after a few more minutes of moving around, seemingly getting all the nerves out.

His back is turned to Cody.

***

His feet are absolutely killing him, but he tries to listen to Tampa talk animatedly about... well, actually, he’s not really sure _what_ Tampa’s talking about, but his voice is really nice to listen to and it helps distract him from how tired he feels.

They’re in Georgia, Tampa informs him. 

Cody doesn’t know what that means for their journey and he tells Tampa as much. The other man just laughs and promises him that they’ll be able to rest in the next town coming up.

Cody doesn’t need to know much more than that and just focuses on the soothing, deep tone of Tampa’s voice.

***

They’re laid out on top of a broken-down car in the middle of the highway, looking up at the sky above. Cody felt like he was going to collapse if he didn't rest soon and Tampa agreed to stop for the night.

"We're close enough to town, anyway," Tampa tells him and Cody feels relieved. That means they'll be able to find a place to get some food soon. 

Tampa keeps pointing out weirdly shaped clouds and telling Cody that it looks like him. It doesn’t make any sense, but Cody laughs every time and tries to find an even weirder shaped cloud to counter with.

It goes on like that until the sun begins to set. A mixture of yellow, orange and pink light up the sky and they’re both quiet as the colors transition slowly until it’s a pitch black.

They stay there in comfortable silence and Cody wonders how the sky still manages to feel so calming with so much shit going on around them. He turns to look over at Tampa, gazing up admiringly at the stars, and wonders the same about him. 

***

“You ever wonder what the hell happened that caused all of this?” Cody asks as he slurps on a red slushie. They managed to find the only 7/11 left standing in Tennesse and were filling up on junk food.

Tampa takes a bite out of his Honeybun and nods. “Bro, it’s whatever the fuck was in Kombucha," he states matter of factly.

Cody splutters a little on his sip of slushie and manages to not choke on it before he starts laughing. “Kombucha?”

Tampa smiles slyly and takes a sip of his water. “Yeah, dude. Once white people gentrified that shit, it was over for everyone. They probably started throwing fucking Chemical X into every batch after that.”

“Nice Powerpuff Girls reference, dude,” Cody snickers. 

“Ay, man you understood it,” Tampa laughs but then sits up straighter, looking ready to throw himself into an animated bit. Cody loves it when he does this.

“But, nah for real, they probably thought that if they drank enough they’d unlock some superpower inside them. Open their third fucking eye or some shit like that. Unlock their inner chakras. Unleash that inner Nine Tails.”

Cody has to stifle his laugh before taking a long sip of his slushie, pitching his voice up high. “Oh my god, Analeighkey, have you tried the new flavor of kombucha?” Cody takes another long sip of his slushie and hums pleasantly. “Every time I take a sip, I _swear _I get the power to read someone’s mind.”

Tampa throws his head back to laugh and then composes himself to keep the bit going, pitching his voice high up too. “Oh my god, Chrysanthemum, let me take a sip!” He leans forward to drink out of Cody’s slushie and Cody’s mind sort of goes blank at the sight of Tampa sucking on his straw.

Tampa leans back before Cody has more time to think about it and he starts to make his body vibrate. “Oh my god. Oh my god, is this supposed to happ-“ he stops and lets his eyes roll back into his head, pretending to start levitating off the counter.

Cody lets out a wheezing laugh and feels tears prick at his eyes from laughing. Eventually, Tampa breaks character and starts to laugh along with him.

“Chrysanthemum?” Cody asks through a small laugh after he’s calmed down a little. He wipes at his eyes around his glasses. “What the hell kind of name is Chrysanthemum?”

“Dude, it’s a flower,” Tampa states like it’s obvious. Like it’s something he should know. “Like that book? About the little white mouse?”

“Dude, what? There’s no way there’s a book about a little white mouse named Chrysanthemum.”

They argue for a while about whether or not that book existed. Tampa insisting that he read it at school and Cody not being able to be convinced that a book like that existed, because, _why???_

It’s the sound of banging on the door that causes them to stop laughing and freeze in their place, popping their little bubble of joy. Tampa automatically reaches for his gun and Cody stares wide-eyed at the zombie at the door, being brutally reminded of the reality of their world.

Tampa kills it with two shots— one to the stomach and the other to the head.

“Guess that kombucha was pretty strong,” Cody tries to lighten the mood, but it lacks any emotion. The words taste bitter on his tongue.

Tampa doesn’t reply. Just crumples up the rest of his Honeybun and throws it away. “Come on, let’s go find another place to sleep.” He doesn’t turn around to see if Cody follows him out of the store.

They don’t talk for the rest of the night.

***

All of Cody’s dreams since this whole apocalypse started have been infested with nothing but images of zombies tearing him apart.

They’ve been dreams of him having to relive the day his classmates had all been wiped out, bitten and killed and changed into something completely different.

He’s had to relive Marcus and Devon’s death dozens of times now.

His dreams had been nothing but nightmares that caused him to wake up in cold sweats, panic attacks, and heavy breathing— clutching at his chest because the phantom pain of his heart getting ripped out in his dreams still lingered even after he’d woken up.

Tampa’s always awake each time it happens and just gives Cody an empathetic look, reaching out to touch his shoulder tentatively and giving it a small squeeze when Cody doesn't move it away. Cody’s hand shoots out and clutches on tightly to the fabric of Tampa’s shirt.

“Hey, hey, hey, you’re okay,” Tampa murmurs softly and searches his eyes, trying to hold his gaze and Cody tries to focus on them. “Breathe, Canada, breathe. Deep breaths, come on, follow my breathing.” He starts breathing in and then out, in and out, in and out, deeply and slowly and Cody tries his best to follow.

He calms down after a while and finally lets go of Tampa’s shirt. His hand falls limply to his side.

“Thanks,” he breathes out shakily.

Tampa just nods, still looking into his eyes, looking like he wants to ask Cody something, but then changing his mind at the last second. Tampa just gives him a small twitch of his lips before giving his shoulder another small squeeze and heading back to the spot where he more than likely hadn’t been sleeping in.

Cody wakes up from another nightmare that same night, but he calms himself down by remembering Tampa’s breathing. The phantom warmth of his hand on his shoulder still lingering there, keeping him grounded enough.

***

Cody knows Tampa doesn’t sleep at night.

Or, at least not all throughout the night.

He’s woken up from several nightmares or restless nights to find him sitting up, staring blankly at the sky, or at the ceiling of whatever building they ended up sleeping in, with his gun held tightly in his hands. His finger flexing and unflexing over the trigger over and over again.

Cody doesn’t say anything— mostly because he doesn’t know _what _to say— but also because he doesn’t think Tampa will actually respond if he does.

Tampa always looks so out of it when he’s like this. Like he’s staring off a million miles away. Cody doesn’t think he’s aware of his surroundings at all. At least certainly not enough to know that Cody is awake and watching him silently. He doesn’t know what he’d do if Tampa turned to look at him with those glassy eyes, staring at seemingly nothing and everything at the same time.

Cody gets it, though.

He doesn’t know anything about Tampa’s story but he knows that he’s not the only one who’s had to witness violent deaths of those close to him.

***

Cody fucking hates it when it rains.

Especially when they’re out in the middle of fucking nowhere and have nothing to shield themselves with from the harsh water dropping down on them.

The droplets are big and fat and they’re falling down fast. Cody tries to use his backpack as a makeshift umbrella, but it’s not really helping. 

“C’mon, Canada,” Tampa nudges him with his shoulder, but he’s got his hands wrapped around himself and he can hear his teeth chattering a little. “It’s not that bad.”

“Dude, you couldn’t even get a word of that sentence out without sounding like your teeth are about to fall out.” Cody grimaces when more droplets hit his glasses, making it that much harder to see. “‘Sides, you don’t also have to deal with not being able to fucking see clearly.”

Tampa doesn’t respond to that. Instead, he nudges Cody again and points out an old payphone booth up a little ways ahead and they immediately rush towards it.

It’s a little cramped when they step inside, sliding down to sit, but Tampa is warm and soft against him despite the rain, so Cody doesn’t really mind being pressed up against him. He actually leans into the touch.

“Dude, you’re fucking freezing,” Tampa huffs out, teeth still chattering but he doesn’t move away from Cody either. He shifts and moves to lean closer to Cody’s side. Cody feels a warm hum run through his body. 

They stay like that for who knows how long. Sitting on the floor of an old phone booth, pressed up against each other, rain pattering against the glass in its own little beat, as they wait for it to pass so they can keep walking.

Cody’s about to ask Tampa a question when he feels the man’s head slip down onto his shoulder, chest rising up and down slowly, breathing soft and even.

Cody’s breath stills and he looks down at Tampa’s face, soft and unguarded, mouth slightly open and Cody’s heart tightens a little at the sight. 

Cody shifts a little, careful to not jostle Tampa, and leans back to rest his head against the booth. And then tentatively to rest lightly on top of Tampa’s.

The water droplets on his glasses haven’t dried yet, and he stares at them until he starts to feel sleepy.

He falls asleep to the sound of rain and the calm, slow breathing of the man sleeping on his shoulder.

It’s the first night in a long time where he doesn’t have a nightmare.

***

They’ve been in Kentucky for a day or two now when they come across a public pool that still has water in it. Cody somehow convinces Tampa to jump over the fence to go in.

“This place is probably filled with so many diseases,” Tampa grimaces as he sets his gun down off to the side. He looks over at the water and makes a face. Cody follows his gaze.

It’s pretty clear, much to Cody’s surprise. Like a little piece of paradise that was hidden here, waiting for him.

“There’s a zombie apocalypse going on around us and you’re worried about cooties from a public pool?” Cody elbows him playfully in the ribs and Tampa grunts and shoves him back gently.

“You don't even know what’s been in there, dude.”

“Yeah, but... I know what’s _about_ to be in there,” Cody replies with a mischievous grin, hands reaching out for Tampa.

Tampa doesn’t even have a chance to protest or move away, mouth barely forming around a word when Cody hugs him tightly and lets them both fall into the water.

“You’re such a fucking asshole,” Tampa says when they resurface and he splashes water at Cody’s face, but there’s a small smile tugging at his lips even though he sounds annoyed. Cody just laughs and splashes water back at him. “You better not be complaining about your glasses being all wet later on, you son of a bitch,” he says with another splash of water at Cody’s face.

Cody grimaces and takes off his glasses, like he just remembered they were there, muttering an _oh, god damn it,_ and Tampa snorts amusedly. Cody waves his glasses around in an attempt to get some of the water off while Tampa swims over to the edge. He pulls himself up, taking off his shoes and socks and setting them out to dry before peeling off his shirt.

Cody doesn’t realize he’s staring until Tampa splashes some water at him, smiling at him with mirth. Cody’s face heats up and he goes back to pretending to inspect the water clinging to his glasses.

“You might wanna put your clothes out to dry too if you don’t want to be walking around all soggy later, bro,” Tampa calls out before wriggling out of his pants, stripping down to only his underwear before slipping back into the water. He floats around lazily on his back.

Cody places his glasses back on and watches him float around for a while. His eyes are closed peacefully, looking like he’s just enjoying the feel of the water around him. His skin looks so good under the sun like this, golden and warm, and there are water droplets sticking to the exposed part of his chest that’s not in the water.

Cody’s mind flashes with the urge to swim over and lick a droplet off of him and he shakes his head to clear it. He clears his throat awkwardly and swims back a little.

“Nah, I’m- I’m fine, dude. I’ll just, uhm, dry out in the sun... later...” he finishes weakly and Tampa just shrugs, shooting him a _suit yourself, man_ and returns to his peaceful floating. 

Cody’s glad the water’s cold as he starts to swim a few laps around the pool.

***

Tampa is _not_ a morning person.

Cody’s not sure if it’s because of the sleepless nights or if he’s just always been like this, but it’s a little funny.

And also maybe a little bit adorable.

His hair looks all fluffy and ruffled, Cody wants to reach over and run his fingers through it, just to see if it’s as soft as it looks. Tampa still looks like he’s half asleep and he’s looking at Cody a little like he’s crazy as he looks up between the food and him.

“The fuck?” He asks and rubs at his eyes.

Cody, who had actually woken up before Tampa did today, had decided to roam the store they had slept in for any breakfast type foods.

He picked out eggs, bread, jelly, anything else that he thought was breakfast-y. He was pleasantly surprised to find out that the backroom also had a tiny kitchen with a toaster and a small stove, and then set to work.

Cody’s not sure what made him want to do this.

Maybe it was the fact that he was thankful for Tampa and wanted to do something nice for how much he’s helped him; thankful for his pleasant company and for making this trip way less lonely than it had been at the beginning.

Or maybe it was because Cody had seen how tired Tampa had been looking for the past few days, dark circles becoming more prominent. Probably from his own nightmares and thoughts not allowing him to have a peaceful sleep.

Or maybe because Tampa hardly ever ate, even when they found a place stocked with food. He always claimed that he just wasn’t hungry and Cody couldn’t help but notice how much skinnier his already skinny frame had gotten.

Or maybe, just maybe, he might have finally come to terms with the fact that he’s developed an incredibly stupid crush on him and just wants to make him smile and feel good or whatever.

Whatever the reason— it’s all of the above, who was he fucking kidding— he’s decided to make Tampa breakfast and make sure he eats it before they start their long day of walking.

“Seriously, what the fuck?” Tampa asks again, a little more awake now, but he doesn’t sound upset. Just genuinely surprised. “What’s all this, Canada?”

Cody just shrugs, suddenly feeling self-conscious and fixes his glasses. “Just thought you could use a home-cooked meal, s’all,” he jokes weakly and grabs a piece of the toast and bites into it. Then he goes to reach for Tampa’s portion of the food. “I mean, unless you don’t want it, then suit yourself. I, of course, wouldn’t mind another-“

“Ay, bro, chill,” Tampa chuckles and playfully slaps his hand away. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t eat it.” And then he starts digging into his food, eating fast like he’s suddenly realized how ridiculously starved he was.

"Hey, slow down," Cody tells him, but he's glad to see him eating. "I know my food is _I'd-Die-For-These-Sour-Cream-Onion-Chips_ worthy, but don't actually choke, please. I still need you to get me to Calgary." Tampa laughs and flips him off, but he does slow down.

“Thanks,” Tampa says softly after they’ve both finished their food. He runs a finger through some leftover jelly on his plate and then brings it to his mouth to lick it off. Cody’s eyes follow the movement and then he looks away when he sees Tampa staring at him.

“Ice cream for breakfast?” Cody chokes out.

“It’s the end of the fucking world, man,” Noel smiles. “Of course.”

It’s nowhere near normal, but it’s the most normal Cody’s felt in a long time.

***

They’re inside a Goodwill looking for hoodies and jackets and anything else that’ll keep them warm. The weather was starting to get colder and Cody’s t-shirt and light jacket just weren’t cutting it anymore.

“Canada, it’s only, like, 60 degrees— sorry, 15 degrees _Celsius_— out and you’re freezing?? Are you sure you’re Canadian? Maybe heading to Canada isn’t the best idea right now.”

Cody rolls his eyes and ignores the joking jab, murmuring a small,_ oh fuck off_, and Tampa laughs.

“By the way? Celsius?” Cody points over to Tampa before going back to searching for a hoodie his size. “Absolute superior unit of measure. I still don’t understand what the fuck far- fair- faharenteit-“

“Fahrenheit,” Tampa chimes helpfully.

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t get what that is.” He throws his hands up exaggeratedly. “Why doesn’t this place use Celsius like, oh I don't know, the _rest_ of the fucking world?”

“Hey, don’t knock down Fahrenheit, man,” Noel replies. “It makes much more sense than Celsius. Who the fuck measures the temperature in relation to water?”

This sends them into a tangent, arguing heatedly over which unit was better. At one point, Cody is waving his hands around so intensely that the hoodie he’s holding flies off its hanger and hits Tampa square in the face.

"Shit, dude, I'm sorry!" Cody's about to go over, but Tampa lifts the hoodie off his face and smirks devilishly. He bunches up the hoodie and chucks it back hard directly at Cody’s surprised face.

This leads to a sort of hoodie-dodgeball game that ends with clothes strewn all over the place, their Celsius/Fahrenheit dispute completely forgotten.

“Hey,” Cody starts to say after they’ve tired themselves out and collapsed on top of a mattress at the back of the store. He has his glasses up and resting on top of his head. The world’s a little blurry but Tampa is lying down close next to him and that’s all he really wants to see anyway. “What were you doing before all of this? Like, job-wise, I mean.”

Tampa huffs out an unamused breath and shakes his head. He’s looking up at the ceiling, hands resting on top of his chest and Cody just watches it rise and fall, feeling calm with the steady rhythm.

“Workin' at a fucking Best Buy. Top of the food chain, baby,” he jokes and Cody smiles. He turns his head to look over at Cody, a smile of his own tugging gently at his lips. “What about you? Anything besides not being able to read maps at Duke?”

“Oh, fuck off,” Cody laughs and Tampa snickers. “But, basically, no... that was- that was pretty much it. Just working on my degree and sometimes working at the student library to make some extra cash.”

“Hence the cute librarian look,” Tampa points out and rolls onto his side to be able to reach for Cody’s glasses. He takes them off his head and he scoots closer to him to be able to place them gently on his face again. 

“Yeah,” Cody breathes out, looking back at Tampa, mind stuck on the ‘_cute librarian_’ part of his sentence. “Hence the look,” he repeats. “Totally not because I’m blind or anything. This? Totally for aesthetic purposes.”

Tampa laughs and Cody smiles, heart fluttering a little at the sound, so familiar to his ears now. He doesn’t think he’ll get tired of hearing it. 

He doesn’t realize how close they actually are to each other until Tampa lifts his hand up to stroke Cody’s cheek with his thumb. Cody’s brain kind of short circuits.

“I’m sorry,” Tampa murmurs. He strokes his thumb one more time across his cheekbone before pulling away. Cody wants to pull it back and keep it there. “Didn’t know that hoodie had a metal zipper on it when I threw it.”

Cody reaches up to touch the place where Tampa’s thumb had been just a second ago, just now feeling the bruise that was slowly forming there. His skin tingles as he looks at Tampa and sees him staring back at him, eyes focused only on him.

“S’okay,” Cody murmurs back. He lets his hand fall back to his side and has to resist the urge to reach over and touch Tampa. “It didn’t hurt or anything.” 

Tampa nods. “Still...” he breathes out slowly as he brings his hand back up, tentatively stroking his thumb over Cody’s cheek again, as if to see if Cody would let him.

Cody leans into the touch this time, skin on fire from the touch, heart beating fast as Tampa looks at him, eyebrows a little furrowed down in concentration and breaths coming out slowly. Cody’s own breathing stops as Tampa moves closer to him, lips just barely brushing over Cody’s bruised cheek and then laying back down.

“Uhm,” Cody responds eloquently. He wants more. Wants so much more than just that kiss on the cheek, more than just the finger brushing across there. Wants to roll over on top of Tampa and kiss him until they both can’t breathe, but his body just stays frozen there. 

Tampa just smiles softly and turns onto his back, arms folding over his chest again.

“G’night, Canada,” he says.

“Yeah,” Cody breathes out and turns his gaze up to the ceiling too. “Goodnight, Tampa.”

He swears his skin is still tingling when he wakes up the next morning.

***

Cody’s bundled up in his hoodie and a scarf, hands stuffed in his pockets as he waits outside for Tampa to be done checking the store out to see if it was clear of any zombies.

It’s something new that Tampa’s been making them do. Cody doesn’t understand why, but Tampa just shrugs and tells him that it’d be easier if he just checks first while Cody waits.

“Okay, all clear,” he hears him call out and Cody immediately makes his way inside. 

“Fucking finally, dude,” Cody mutters and takes the scarf off. “I was fucking freezing out there.” His glasses fog up with the change in temperature.

“Canada, it’s only 55 degrees out,” he replies and he reaches a hand out for Cody's backpack. Cody hands it over and Tampa starts stuffing ammo inside.

“13 degrees,” Cody mutters because he’s still insisting Celsius makes more sense. Tampa just mutters a _whatever you say_, and keeps stuffing more boxes into Cody’s backpack.

The store is a small knockoff version of a convenience store in Illinois so Cody’s a little surprised to see how many boxes of ammo there are. “How is it that you’ve been able to find bullets at, like, every place we stop?”

Tampa turns to look over at him, throwing him an _are you serious?_ look before walking around the store and finding more items to throw inside.

“Dude, I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but we’re in America. I’d be surprised if I _wasn’t_ able to find bullets everywhere we go.”

Cody grunts in response and goes looking around the store too, seeing if he can find something else that could be useful.

He immediately stops when he finds a portable radio.

“Oh, fucking hell yes,” he says and grabs it off the shelf, grabbing packs of batteries along with it and heading back towards Tampa.

Tampa huffs out a laugh when he sees what Cody has in his hands, but opens the backpack up towards him for Cody to toss them in.

“More end of the world music?” he teases and Cody beams at him.

“You fucking know it, babeyyy.”

“We don’t even know if the station will work,” Tampa says but he’s zipping up the backpack and motions with his head for Cody to follow him out the store.

Cody shrugs and takes his glasses off to clean them with the inside fabric of his hoodie before placing them back on his face. “Cup half full, Tampa. Cup. Half. Full.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tampa waves him off, but he’s already got the radio back out, working on putting the batteries into it as soon as they step outside.

***

They’ve only been walking for about an hour when Noel finally finds the station playing music— still 99.1.

“Holy shit,” Tampa murmurs a little disbelievingly as[ the music](https://youtu.be/y-1575pG-kc?t=94) begins to fill the air. Cody smiles widely and claps his hands on his shoulders, lingering on for a little longer than he should, and leaning forward to take a look. “How the hell are they still doing this?”

“Who cares, dude!” Cody takes the radio from his hands and turns the volume up louder. “Let’s just enjoy these fuckin’ vibes gifted to us.”

Noel snorts and shakes his head in amusement, but he starts to move his shoulders to dance along with Cody as they keep making their way down the empty street. On to the next town, the next city, the next state.

Cody’s not exactly sure where they’re at at this point, but he trusts Tampa and doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop following him at this point, even after they make it to Canada.

Tampa starts to jokingly do this body roll/hip-thrusting thing along to the music, really getting into it and Cody ends up tripping over his feet, too distracted to watch where he’s going. He falls on top of the radio, instantly crushing it.

“Owww,” he whines. And then, “Noooooo,” when he picks up the remains of the broken radio.

Tampa’s laughing so hard he actually falls down next to him, leaning into his side and giggling so hard tears are coming out. Cody’s pouting, he knows he is and Tampa playfully grabs at his cheek with a hand, scrunching up his face even more and then giving his cheek a little pat before pulling away to reach behind Cody. He opens his backpack and pulls out two more small portable radios.

“Dude, you’re so lucky I thought ahead and brought more than one radio with us.”

Cody’s heart does a stupid little flip at that. He should probably feel a little embarrassed that he’s that predictable, but he can’t stop smiling when Tampa starts to assemble the new radio.

***

Nighttime is still the worst fucking time.

Especially now with the temperature dropping the higher north they travel. It’s -1 degrees right now (_30 Fahrenheit, pussy, save that celsius shit for Canada_) and Cody’s wrapped up in all the clothes he has.

They’re huddled up in another deserted car in the middle of god knows where, (Tampa tells him they're still in Illinois, whatever that means) and Cody’s trying to his best to focus on anything else besides the cold. Tampa wasn’t able to get the car to start this time, something about the battery probably being dead, so they decided to crash there for the night instead.

The car has no top, ripped off and thrown somewhere off to the side and Cody doesn’t want to imagine what happened there. He shivers, this time not from the cold, and wraps his hands around himself tighter.

Tampa keeps roasting him for being Canadian and not being able to stand a little cold, but he’s pressed up right next to his side, teeth chattering away, almost too loud for the music playing from the radio to be heard, so Cody doesn’t think he really has any ground to stand on there.

There’s a [soft song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqQTODR3kR8) playing in the background and it’s making Cody a little sleepy, but he’s too cold to actually fall asleep. He looks up at the sky instead and is instantly awestruck by how many stars were out tonight. The Milky Way was graciously letting itself be seen, surrounding and enveloping them in a swirl of light and Cody suddenly felt so small. 

He reaches a hand out towards it, not being able to help himself as he traces over the pattern of stars with his finger, trying to connect constellations he knew nothing about together. He lets his hand fall back to his side, wrapping it around himself when it gets too cold. He lets out a small breath and tips his head back further, trying to take it all in and understand the feeling that washes over him suddenly. A mixture of grief, astonishment, and longing.

He turns his head to the side after a while, feeling eyes on him and is surprised to see Tampa staring at him, expression soft and thoughtful and Cody suddenly can’t look away, finding this sight better than the sky up above.

From this close, Cody can see that Tampa has these tiny freckles on his face that Cody wants to trace over with his fingers, too.

“..._Remainders of a shooting star landed directly on our broke down little car... Before then we had made a wish that we would be missed if one or another just did not exist..._” the guy in the song sings in the background and Cody turns his head away from the other man, feeling too much and not being able to handle it.

“Noel,” Tampa says, so softly that it kind of blends in with the music and Cody’s not sure if he even really spoke at all, but he turns his head to look at him. “That’s— My name’s Noel,” he explains, louder this time, still looking him in the eyes.

Cody’s heart does a funny little flip inside his chest as he looks at Tam- looks at _Noel_, smiling softly at him, skin glowing underneath the stars and the moon. He doesn’t look real in this moment and Cody doesn’t really feel real either, and he searches Noel’s eyes desperately to help keep him grounded.

_“Cause that’s what we’re waiting for, that’s what we’re waiting for, that’s what we’re waiting for aren’t we?_” the guy’s voice continues to sing in the background and Cody lets out a small breath. He’s too afraid to speak up, to ruin the moment. His brain just keeps repeating _Noel, Noel, Noel_ over and over in his head and every time he blinks he swears he sees that name etched into his eyelids.

But Noel is still looking at him with that soft unguarded look on his face, a small smile tugging at his lips, a little nervous but also sure at the same time and Cody knows he’s waiting for him to say something.

“Dude, you’ve had a girl's name this entire time?” Cody blurts out because he’s never really thought before speaking, so why the hell would he start now.

Noel’s eyebrows furrow down and the small smile that tugged at his lips is set in a straight line now and Cody’s heart sinks a little, sure he’s ruined the moment by opening his dumb mouth as always, but then Noel is tipping his head back to laugh loudly and Cody feels that little flip turn into summersaults inside his chest.

“Man, fuck you,” Noel continues to laugh and Cody grins back at him, relief washing over him.

The song comes to an end, and another slow one starts. They stay like that, in comfortable silence, listening to the music and looking up to the sky, watching the stars skittered around the black canvas for what feels like an eternity but also only a second.

The song ends again and another one comes on and Cody holds his breath and finally gathers enough courage to inch his hand slowly over to Noel’s. His pinky brushes over Noel’s hesitantly, and when Noel doesn’t move his away, Cody takes the chance to settle his hand on top of Noel’s.

“Sorry, ‘m cold,” Cody murmurs into his scarf, still not looking at Noel, trying his best to keep his eyes fixated on the stars above. It’s not a lie, he _is _cold. And touching Noel always seems to warm him up. 

Noel’s hand moves to wrap around Cody’s, intertwining their fingers and Cody really does feel like his heart is about to jump through his throat.

“Yeah, me too,” Noel murmurs back and he starts to rub soothing little circles over Cody’s knuckles with his thumb.

Cody thinks about how easy it would be to turn his head and kiss Noel. How easy it’d be right here, underneath the safety of the moonlight and the stars and the soft croon of music playing in the background, but he can’t move. Suddenly too scared to do anything else but just remember to breathe, in and out, in and out, like Noel had showed him.

Another song starts, and then another, and they stay like that. Holding onto each other and watching the stars.

It’s after another song ends[ and a soft one begins to play,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4rKN_qW5DU) that Cody hears Noel’s breathing slow down. Cody takes that moment to chance a look over at Noel, sure that he’s fallen asleep.

His face is completely at peace and Cody feels so warm inside, feels it all over his body and swears he can feel it seep out of him and touch everything else around him, too. Noel’s name becoming a constant, pleasant hum over and over in his head.

He falls asleep to the radio playing softly. The guy’s voice softly singing.

_“And I love too, that love soon might end... Be known in the shaking... Lately of my wasteland, baby...”_

***

They haven’t been able to find another gun or weapon for Cody to use throughout all this. Cody feels a little relieved by that. He’s not sure if he’d actually be able to shoot someone, zombie or not.

Noel still makes him practice whenever they get a chance, though.

“Just in case,” he says. He doesn’t add, _in case I die_, but it lingers heavy in the air and Cody bites his cheek and nods.

Right now, they’re still in the middle of nowhere, only a couple of miles away from where they had slept the night before. It’s fucking freezing and windy, but Cody hasn’t complained once. Can swear he can still feel the warmth from last night lingering and clinging onto him.

Noel lines up empty soda bottles that they found while walking along on top of a beat down brick wall and makes Cody stand about ten feet away first. His hands are gentle on his as he guides his arms into place and tells him how to take it off safety lock and load it. He shows him how to change the magazine that holds the ammo and then snap it back into place to reload it before starting to shoot.

Cody misses the first couple shots, but Noel is patient and kind. He places a warm hand on Cody’s back, leans in like he’s whispering a secret and tells him to move his aim a _littttttttle bit more to the right._

Cody only manages to knock down one bottle after that and laughs when Noel places his hands on his shoulders, jostling him around a little and cheering him on as if he had shot all the bottles down, before pulling away to go set another bottle up in its place. Cody already misses the heat from his hand.

Cody manages to shoot down three bottles this time around and Noel cheers him on again.

“Alright, dude. Let’s see you do that again!”

Cody watches Noel as he places some more bottles on top of the wall, carefully placing them evenly apart and Cody can’t help but wonder for the millionth time how he learned to do this.

***

“Cody,” Cody blurts out later on that day. They’ve walked a couple more miles and made it to a small town and were now sitting down in the chip aisle, backs pressed up against the shelves, thighs pressed against each other.

Noel, who’s currently in the middle of eating some Doritos, stops mid-chew to give Cody a confused look. He swallows before answering.

“Man, what?”

Cody feels his face heat up and he steals a chip from Noel for something to do.

“Uh, Cody. That’s me.” He points at himself as if that wasn’t clear. “My name is Cody.”

Noel’s eyes shine with unbridled amusement and he nudges his knee against Cody’s, stealing some of his chips too.

“Bruh, you made fun of my name, but this whole time you’re out here living with a name like Cody? _Cody_?”

Cody frowns.

“What the hell’s wrong with Cody?”

Noel just laughs, absolutely delighted and doesn’t answer. He just offers Cody some more chips and knocks his shoulder against his before clearing his throat and going in on his name for the next ten minutes.

Cody sorta, maybe, really wants to kiss him.

***

They find a tiny dog roaming around the streets digging through the trash for scraps in Minnesota.

“Awe, man,” Noel mutters and starts to make his way over carefully. Cody doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but he follows anyway because of course, he does.

The dog’s ears perk up and his little head lifts up at the sound of their footsteps as they get closer. It starts to back up nervously and Noel slows down, making his way over even carefully.

“Hey, buddy,” Noel calls out softly. He sets his rifle down on the ground and holds a hand out, palm up, as he keeps walking forward. The dog backs up even more, eyes darting between Noel coming towards him and Cody standing a couple of feet back. Noel digs into his pocket and pulls out a piece of a half-eaten Slim Jim he'd been saving. “You hungry?”

The dog perks up a little at the food, but still stays in place, wary of whether to trust Noel or not. Noel keeps the piece of Slim Jim in the palm of his hand and lowers himself to his knees, offering up the food and waiting. The dog cautiously moves forward, sniffing a little and Noel smiles and beckons him forward, promising to not hurt him as if the dog could actually understand.

Eventually, the dog’s hunger beats out his fear and he pads on forward to take the little piece of meat from Noel’s hand, chowing it down quickly and looking back at Noel expectantly. Noel chuckles and pulls out another little piece, setting it on his palm again for the dog to take.

This time, Noel reaches a hand out to pat the dog's head as he eats. The dog flinches away at first but then relaxes into the touch, tail starting to wag behind him. Noel hands him another piece of food.

"How you doin', bud?" Noel asks warmly as he scratches behind the little dog's ears. "You were hungry, huh? It's alright, I got more for you so eat up." 

Noel has the little dog in his lap by the time the Slim Jim is all gone. He strokes through his fur softly. Cody finally sits down next to him and tentatively reaches out to pet the little dog, letting out a small breath when the dog lets him.

“His collar says Ollie,” Noel murmurs as he continues to pet the tiny animal in his lap. He has a small, pleased smile on his face and Cody knows that there’s no way the dog isn’t going to be joining them for the rest of this journey.

“Ollie,” Cody repeats and the dog turns his attention towards him at the sound of his name. “Okay,” Cody nods and leans against Noel as he ruffles Ollie’s ears. “We’ll take care of you, Ollie.”

"Yeah?" Noel turns to look at him, eyes crinkling around the corners as a huge smile splits his face. 

Cody looks down at the tiny dog resting in Noel's lap. It yawns widely, and then rests his head on top of Noel's knee, falling asleep instantly and, yeah, there's no way this little animal isn't coming with them.

"Yeah," Cody looks up at Noel and smiles back, instantly feeling that usual warmth spread through him.

Noel is looking at him so fondly, eyes so soft and warm, and shining so fucking brightly in the sunlight... He doesn't even give it a second thought when he brings his hands up to cup Noel's face gently, leaning in to kiss him. His lips are soft against his and Cody presses forward even more.

Noel makes a pleased sound in the back of his throat and leans into it, hand reaching up to grip at the front of Cody's shirt, pulling him in closer. Cody feels like he's on fire, burning in the best fucking way imaginable. 

They break apart a little while later, breathing coming out in short breaths as they rest their foreheads together. Noel’s grinning at him like stupid and Cody knows his expression is mirroring his. Cody leans forward and presses another kiss against Noel's lips because he _can. _Because he just_ did, _and Noel had_ let him; keeps _letting him.

"Yeah?" Noel breathes out. Cody nods, breathing out his own little _yeah_, and Noel pulls back to search his face. He must find what he was looking for because he smiles again, a little shyly, and nods. He brings Cody in for another kiss, slower this time. Cody just lets himself fall right into it, trusting Noel. Always trusting Noel.

"Okay," Cody gasps when they break apart again. "Yeah, definitely _I'd-Die-For-These-Sour-Cream-Onion-Chips_ worthy." 

Noel throws his head back to laugh, a _god, you're so dumb_, bubbling out of his mouth and Cody presses a gentle kiss to the column of his throat. 

***

The nightmares haven’t been as constant, but they still happen. Maybe even more gruesome than before, and they leave Cody with the taste of bile rising up in his throat as he sits up gasping and clawing at his chest, trying to get the non-existent zombies off of him.

The nightmares haven’t been as constant, but they’ve definitely been worse— now filled with images of his family being torn apart by the monsters. Their faces alternating between each family member and then flickering between Marcus and Devon. In each one of these, Cody’s off to the side. Too terrified to do anything. Too scared to save them, always so fucking afraid.

Noel’s still always awake for each time he wakes up like this. The only difference is that now he has Ollie cradled against his chest to keep him company. He moves towards Cody, Ollie also somehow sensing his distress and padding on over to lick at his hand. Noel sits next to him, tells him to breathe,_ you’re okay, you’re fine, you’re right here with me and you’re alive_.

Cody doesn’t believe it until Noel slips closer to him, reaching out to hold at his hand, carefully at first to not freak him out, and then more confident when Cody doesn’t move away. 

Cody falls asleep like that most nights now. Holding onto Noel’s hand like it’s a lifeline.

At this point, it probably is.

***

Noel trades Cody his gun for his backpack as they walk. Before Cody can ask why, Noel is zipping open the top and fixing a small blanket that they had found in a car, inside of the backpack so he can place Ollie in there.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Cody breathes out.

“He’s tired,” Noel says simply and he zips up the backpack, leaving it open enough for Ollie to poke his head out and be comfortable, but also closed enough so that he doesn’t fall out.

Noel slings the backpack over his shoulder and it’s a little funny seeing him with something other than a gun behind his back. He looks smaller, more vulnerable. Noel has a water bottle in his hand and he takes a swig of it before pouring some into the water bottle cap and holding it behind Ollie for him to drink. Ollie laps it up quickly and Noel keeps doing it until Ollie doesn’t drink anymore.

”You good, buddy?” Noel asks him.

“God, he’s already got you so fucking whipped,” Cody laughs.

“Yeah, he sorta does,” Noel’s beaming at him when he says it, and Cody feels a funny rush of adoration go through him. He reaches over to kiss Noel, but Ollie lets out a small, almost territorial sounding bark and Cody jumps away instantly.

"What the hell?"

Noel's laughing too hard to hear him, though.

"Ollie, I thought we were bros!" The tiny dog lets out another little indignant bark. Cody's sure that was dog speak for _fuck off._

Noel's still laughing, wiping at his eyes as he reaches into his hoodie to pull out a Slim Jim. They've been Ollie's favorite treat since they started bringing him along.

"He's just hungry," Noel explains and he breaks off a piece to give to Ollie. The small dog takes it quickly. "Yeah, there you go lil' buddy" he coos a little and gives Ollie another piece. 

"Unbelievable," Cody mutters. Noel just smiles and pulls Cody in for a kiss.

Ollie doesn't bark this time.

***

They’re in the backseat of the car making out while music plays from the small radio. Cody’s rocking down onto Noel’s lap a little desperately.

Ollie was currently sleeping in the driver's seat. Cody had placed him there, jokingly saying that he didn't want Ollie to watch them, but also being 100% serious about it. Noel just laughed and brought him in close to kiss him. 

“Hey, man, slow down,” Noel laughs lowly against his lips and it sends heat straight to Cody’s gut, making him grind down harder. Noel holds his hips steady, slowing him down and Cody groans. He goes in to suck at Noel’s neck instead, living for the noises he makes under him.

“Noel, please,” Cody whines and tries to rock down, trying to find more of that pressure he really fucking needs right now.

"I got you, calm down," Noel murmurs lowly and then slips his hands into the sweats Cody had on, wrapping his hand around him loosely.

“Your hand is fucking cold,” Cody hisses but he thrusts into it anyway.

Noel stills his movements and gives him an unimpressed look.

“Oh, I’m _sorry_, I’ll _stop_ touching your dick now,” he says mockingly. He goes to take his hand away and Cody reaches down to grip his wrist tightly.

“Don’t you fucking dare, asshole.”

Noel throws his head back to laugh and Cody goes in to suck at the exposed skin. Noel hums pleasantly and brings his hand back to wrap around Cody, pumping slowly. Cody drops his head down onto Noel’s shoulder, panting softly.

God, he feels so fucking close already. Just a little more pressure and—

“Oh, shit,” Noel says suddenly. “I [love this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr9Oubxw1gA),” he shifts a little around Cody, loosening his grip to be able to reach for the small radio and turning it up louder.

"Noel," Cody lets out an embarrassing whine and thrusts into Noel's loose grip despondently, trying to find that friction again.

“_If I could turn the page in time, then I’d rearrange a day or two...”_ the person on the radio sings and Noel mouths the words dramatically at him.

Cody rocks his hips down and whines again. Noel smirks and keeps mouthing the words to the song up at him, dancing a little bit. Cody’s about to tell him off but then finally, _finally, _Noeltightens his grip and begins to jerk Cody off in earnest. Cody moans and rolls his hips against him.

”_But I couldn’t find a way, so I’ll settle for one day to believe in you..._” Noel sings along gravelly and his voice sends a rush of heat down him, twisting in his gut in the best way. 

“Don’t know it,” Cody gasps out. Noel's thumb sweeps under the head, moving up to press into the slit a little and then back down again. Cody lets a strangled little noise out.

Noel's movements don't stop, but he does shoot Cody a surprised look.

“Bruh, how do you not know Fleetwood Mac?” Cody shakes his head. “Stevie Nicks?” Cody shakes his head again. "Oh, my god," Noel shakes his head. His hand speeds up, stroking over Cody, but he starts going off on a tangent on how he can’t believe Cody doesn’t know _one of the best songs ever written. _Noel’smovements on him speed up, slow down, and sometimes even stop as he continues his mini rant. 

“Oh my god, please stop talking,” Cody pleads but then shakes his head. “Actually, ignore that. Keep talking, your voice is so hot. Just, god, _please_, don’t stop what you’re doing with your hands, asshole.”

He feels more than actually hears Noel laugh against him and Cody leans in closer. It’s a nice feeling.

“Yeah?” Noel murmurs deeply and Cody nods, bringing his face to Noel’s neck, giving it an open-mouthed kiss and relishing in the moan it brings out from Noel, feeling the vibration of it.

“C’mon then,” Noel says. He quickens his strokes, leaning over to murmur nonsense into Cody’s ear, grazing his teeth over the shell of his ear. Cody feels the vibration of his voice against his own body and he bites his tongue, thrusting into Noel's hand quickly.

"Wanna see how bad you want it," Noel nips at his ear again before slipping his free hand up to Cody’s mouth. He presses two fingers against Cody’s bottom lip and Cody automatically opens his mouth to take them.

“Get them nice and wet,” Noel says, his voice is so husky, so low and hot, Cody moans around his fingers, licking and sucking on them.

“Look at you,” Noel murmurs appreciatively and then pulls his fingers out. A long line of spit stays connected from Cody’s lips to Noel’s fingers as he pulls them away and they both moan at it. 

Noel takes those fingers down inside the back of Cody's sweats. Cody hisses at the cold again but then Noel is pushing a wet finger down to circle around him, pushing in a little and—

Cody comes apart immediately at that, moaning out Noel's name over and over, thrusting back to meet Noel's finger and also trying to thrust forward into his hand. Noel strokes him through it, murmuring encouragements and then softly singing along to the song still playing on the radio.

“_Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...”_

Cody slumps forward, burying his face in Noel’s neck, absolutely content and a little sleepy. He could actually fall asleep like this, but then Noel shifts after the song ends Cody remembers that Noel needs to get off too. He lazily slides down to the floor of the backseat in-between Noel’s legs.

“Yeah, there you go,” Noel mumbles as Cody opens his jeans, tugging them down a little to be able to pulling him out. Noel hisses at the cold and Cody looks up at him, smirking with an_ I told you it was fucking cold,_ face before bringing his mouth around him and getting to work.

Noel moans lowly, fingers reaching out to tangle in Cody’s hair and pulling gently. Cody groans at the feeling.

He’s not too hung up on technique like other times that they’ve done this. Cody knows Noel’s already pretty close anyway, so he just lazily bobs his head up and down. His hand wraps around what he can't take into his mouth and he starts pumping slowly.

Noel is panting above him, already sounding absolutely wrecked, so Cody just takes his time with it, enjoying the feeling of Noel stretching his mouth.

"Yeah, Cody, just like that... s'fucking good..." Noel breathes out. His fingers tug a little harder at his hair in warning, but Cody keeps his mouth on him. Noel lets out a strangled little _C__ody..._ one last time before spilling into his mouth. Cody swallows it all. Noel moans again and gives Cody’s hair another soft tug.

Cody lets his head rest against Noel’s hip as they try to get their breathing back to normal. 

“S’good,” Noel murmurs after a couple of minutes. He zips himself back up and pulls Cody up for a kiss, licking into his mouth hungrily.

Cody groans and then pulls away reluctantly, exhaustion suddenly making his eyelids feel like they weigh a thousand pounds. He rolls over, pressed tightly into Noel's side and lays his head down on his shoulder.

“‘m gonna need new pants,” Cody mutters and Noel starts giggling and kisses at the side of his head, pulling him in closer and promising to find a store with clothes soon. Cody nods sleepily and slides down to rest his head on Noel's chest. 

He falls asleep to the easy rhythm of Noel's heart. Steady, strong, and alive.

***

Noel gets way too attached to Ollie almost immediately, it’s almost disgustingly cute.

Cody loves it.

They find a thrift store in the next town over and Noel spends more time searching the entire store for clothes small enough to fit Ollie than he does for clothes for himself.

“If we’re cold, lil homies freezing too, dude,” Noel explains as he helps Ollie into a tiny dog hoodie he was able to find at the bottom of a clearance pile. He scratches behind the small dog’s ears fondly after he places it on and pulls the hoodie up over his head.

“Ooooo!" Noel lets out loudly and then laughs. "Tell me he don’t look fresh!” He turns around to waggle his eyebrows at Cody. Cody smiles back and scratches at Ollie’s little head.

“Yeah, okay, he looks pretty dope,” Cody replies and Noel beams.

He picks Ollie up, holding him close to his chest and giving him more compliments about how good he looks in the hoodie and how he’s going to find more things to keep him warm before he sits them down on top of a couple of blankets Cody managed to find. 

Noel falls asleep like that, cuddled up with Ollie on his chest and Cody throws a blanket he finds in the bedding section over them carefully, his own words repeating themselves to him now: _God he’s got you so fucking whipped._

He spends the rest of the night looking for more warm clothes and things for Ollie, stuffing them into his backpack and then picking some more hoodies out for Noel and himself.

Noel sleeps peacefully all through the night.

*** 

“This is kinda ironic isn’t it?” Cody asks. They found an old mattress store to spend the night in North Dakota. Noel says that they should finally be making it to Canada by tomorrow afternoon.

Well, to Saskatchewan, so they still have a while to go before they make it to Alberta, but they're _close _and Cody can’t really believe it. 

Ollie’s curled up somewhere along the floor, bundled up in a million blankets.

“What is?” Noel asks sleepily, finger lazily trailing up and down his arm.

“Us,” Cody says and Noel’s finger stops in its pattern and Cody quickly tries to explain himself. “Not, like, us together— well okay, yeah that’s part of it, but no, not in that way,” Cody rushes again to explain when Noel shoots him a confused look. “Well, maybe in that way too-“

“Cody, what the fuck are you talking about?”

Cody huffs out a breath, frustrated with himself.

“I just mean, like, it’s funny that this is basically the end of the world and we could’ve helped... repopulate? I guess? But here we are together so there goes any plan of that so...“ Cody trails off as Noel just keeps staring in confusion.

“Your first thought after we’ve had sex is ‘_Damn, too bad we can’t save the world because I like it up the ass?_’” Noel asks slowly after a beat of silence.

Cody feels his face get hot and he looks up and shrugs. “I mean, I wouldn’t say it like that, but-“

Noel bursts out laughing and Cody can’t help but start laughing too.

Noel speaks up after calming down a little, nudging Cody in the side jokingly.

“I mean, if you really wanna save the world and you’re into watching each other bang other people-“

“God, you’re the fucking worst,” Cody stops him and Noel starts laughing again, pulling him close and kissing him warmly.

***

Surprisingly, another person shows up at the little convenience store they intended on camping up at. They'd been out for a walk to see what else had been around, but when they found nothing else, they made their way back to the store.

Cody's complaining about the cold again and Noel’s laughing, but it immediately dies down as he pushes the door open. He holds a hand out to Cody’s chest to stop him from walking any further. He slings the gun into his hands and points it towards the bleeding teenager on the floor.

The kid's eyes are bloodshot. Blood is smeared all over his clothes and his face, and he’s covering a bleeding wound on his side. Cody’s stomach clenches at the sight of the dark red spilling over his hands and onto the floor. The room smells so much like death and copper, it makes him a little nauseous.

Noel still has the gun pointed towards the kid when he speaks.

“What happened?” Noel asks slowly, moving closer and Cody wants to tug him back. Ollie growls lowly from behind him, safely tucked inside the backpack, and Cody reaches back to pat at his head, understanding the sentiment completely.

The kid is breathing raggedly and he has tears streaming down his face.

“I was... I was with my sister and then," the kid hiccups and reaches to wipe the tears from his eyes. "They came out of nowhere... She couldn't get away and then, I— This was the only place I could find, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the kid repeats. 

Cody sees Noel hesitate before slowly crouching down next to the kid, slinging the gun off and placing it on the ground next to him. Cody immediately steps forward to be next to them, watching hesitantly, ready in case something goes wrong.

“Can I see?” Noel asks softly, pointing towards the wound the kid was covering up. The kid shakes his head at first, but Noel tries again. “Hey, kid, it’s okay. We’re not going to hurt you. I just want to see if there’s something we can do to help.”

“There’s nothing you can do for me now,” the kid answers brokenly and Cody steps back a little, breath quickening when the kid removes his hand to reveal the deep bite in his thigh. A chunk of his skin had been ripped out, but the teeth mark around it were completely distinguishable.

The kid chokes back a sob and looks into Noel’s eyes and then to Cody’s pleadingly, asking for answers Cody can’t give and a miracle he can’t make occur.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Noel continues to try and soothe the kid down, but this just causes the kid to break down even more and Noel's own voice starts to waver. 

“Please,” the kid begs again. He grabs at Noel's arm and shakes it. "Please, shoot me." Noel doesn't say anything. He looks absolutely terrified, a look Cody’s never seen on him and Cody feels like he got punched in the guy. 

It feels like the whole room stopped breathing altogether, or maybe that was just Cody, but Noel still isn't responding. He just keeps searching the kid's face, shaking his head slowly.

“I- I,” Noel says, but his breaths are beginning to com out quicker and he shakes his head again, grabbing at the kid’s shoulder. “No, we can- we’ll find another way. We can help you!”

The kid is shaking his head, already knowing that there was nothing to be done for him. Cody doesn’t think he’d ever have that much bravery.

“Please,” he asks again, and this time he looks over at Cody. “Please, I don’t want to become into one of them,” he whispers.

Noel seems to be frozen. He’s still holding onto the kid’s shoulder tightly, but all the color has drained from his face. He looks far away, like all those nights he’s woken up to find him staring off a million miles away.

The kid is still looking at Cody, pleading with his eyes and Cody can’t look away.

He doesn’t want to do this. Would rather do anything else BUT this, but he knows the kid is right. Has seen up close and personal what terrible things zombies are capable of. There’s nothing they can do to help him, but this. A last, fucked-up little promise they could help this kid with.

Cody slings his backpack off, careful not to jostle Ollie around too much, and sets it down gingerly next to the opening of the store. He turns back and picks up the gun that still on the ground next to Noel.

Cody freezes when he picks up the gun and he almost sets it down again, but the kid is still looking at him. Images of zombies ripping apart his friends and countless more innocent people flood his mind and he doesn’t want this kid to suffer the same fate as them. Doesn’t want him to become a monster like that.

Noel’s still frozen. His breaths aren’t coming out as fast as before, but his chest is rising up and down heavily as he continues to look into the kid’s face, pleading in his own way. The kid looks back at him for a while, reassuring Noel that it’s better this way, that he’s thankful that he was willing to try and do more but they both knew this was it.

He turns around to look at Cody. He smiles sadly, nods once, gives Noel's hand one last squeeze and says thank you before closing his eyes.

Cody empties out his stomach as soon as the bullet goes through the kid’s head. Ollie’s barking, but the sound sounds far away. The smell of blood is heavy in the air and Cody has nothing more in his stomach but he keeps dry heaving, wishing he could empty out every bad feeling swimming inside him.

He hears the door open and close and Cody turns around to see Noel’s gone outside, gun with him. Cody dry heaves a couple more times and averts his gaze from where he knows the kid's body lies as he rushes out to follow after a Noel quickly.

***

They don’t talk about what happened, but things are obviously different between them.

There’s a tension that hangs heavy between them, and Cody doesn’t know what to do to cross it.

Noel hasn’t looked him in the eyes since they walked away from the store, hasn't touched him once, and only talks to him when necessary.

Cody doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to say to fix this, doesn’t know how to bring Noel back to him, so... he doesn’t do anything. Too afraid of making it worse.

It goes on like this for a couple of days. 

***

Cody finally breaks the silence when it becomes too loud for him to handle.

They're walking down the middle of a cracked road, the buildings of the next town visible from where they are.

Noel had flinched away from him when Cody accidentally bumped into him. 

“Alright, dude, what the fuck is up?”

Noel doesn’t answer him, just keeps looking ahead as he walks. They walk in silence for a couple more minutes and Cody’s about to ask again when Noel finally speaks up.

“They used to be people, man,” Noel says. He’s got that look in his eye that he always gets after a kill— even though he’s not the one who pulled the trigger that day in the store. A mixture of fear, hurt, and anger. It scares Cody a little if he’s being honest. He sure as hell would never want to be on the receiving end of that look.

Cody’s thrown off by Noel’s response. He doesn’t really understand what Noel exactly means with what he just said, so he just nods slowly, because what the hell else can he say.

Noel huffs out a laugh but it lacks the warmth and humor his laughs usually carry. Noel stops walking and turns to face Cody with a look of dissatisfaction. Cody fixes his glasses nervously.

“What? Do I have food on my face or something?” Cody tries to joke, but it falls short. He drops his gaze, feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable with the look Noel is sending him.

“You don't fucking get it, do you?” Noel’s still smiling but it’s biting and sharp and so unfamiliar on his face.

Cody turns his head to look at him and frowns back, suddenly annoyed with Noel’s attitude when he’d done nothing wrong.

“What the hell, Noel? Do you think I _wanted_ to fucking shoot that poor kid’s brains out?" He clenches his teeth at the memory and jabs a finger in Noel's chest. "What am I not getting, exactly? There was nothing else we could have done to help him!”

Noel scoffs and shakes his head. “Fucking bullshit. That’s some fucking bullshit right there, Cody. You didn’t even give it a chance. We could have found something to help him if we’d just-“

Cody throws his hands up. “If we’d just what? _Tried_? Wished for it really fucking hard? Do you think that’s how things around here have been fucking working? You wish for something hard enough and it comes true? He _asked_ me to shoot him, Noel. He didn’t want to turn into one of those fucking monsters!”

Noel opens his mouth to say something but stops himself. He turns his face up to look at the sky and shakes his head, chuckling disbelievingly, like Cody’s being the unreasonable one here.

“What?” Cody asks.

Noel shakes his head again, running his tongue over his teeth. “Nothing. Let’s just fucking forget about this and-“

“No, what the fuck were you going to say?” Cody presses on. “Say it.”

Noel scoffs again and turns to look at Cody. “Alright, then.” He throws his hands up mockingly. “Guess I just found it a little _funny_ how you’re so against wanting to shoot actual fucking zombies, but when it comes to someone we actually have a chance at saving, you jump at the chance to shoot.”

Cody recoils like he’d been hit.

“Wh- Yo- Th-,” he stammers out, not being able to find the rights words respond— not being able to think of _anything_ to say to that. “You think I _wanted_ to kill that kid?”

Noel shrugs. He's not looking at him anymore. “You said it, not me.”

Cody feels bright, red anger and hurt spill inside of him and he's on top of Noel before he’s even aware of what he’s doing. He sends them both toppling to the ground, fist connecting with Noel’s cheek, once, twice, before Noel reacts and starts punching back. His glasses fly off his face when Noel punches him in the cheek and Cody knows they’re probably broken now, but he doesn’t care right now.

“He _asked_ me to shoot him, you fucking dick,” Cody shouts at him and punches Noel in the mouth, causing his lip to split. “And one of us had to stop being a fucking pussy and help him out!”

Ollie's barking like crazy somewhere off to the right, but they both ignore it as they keep throwing punches. 

Cody can taste the blood in his mouth, can feel the sharp throbbing pain in his eye and cheek from multiple hits, but he doesn’t think about it as he dodges another punch from Noel.

“Easy for you to fucking say when you haven’t been doing any of the killings this whole time,” Noel spits back. He tries to pin Cody down, but Cody’s bigger than he is and twists them around so that Noel’s the one that’s pinned down, getting a good kick at Noel’s stomach in the process. Noel coughs out a gasp and recoils into himself, clutching at his stomach and Cody takes that chance to stand back up.

He picks up Noel’s gun and points it at him, not completely realizing what he’s doing, his body just moving on instinct and adrenaline just how he'd seen Noel do so many times before against a zombie. Just how Noel’s taught him to move against enemies.

Noel's still panting on the ground, blood painting his face an ugly crimson color, and he's looking up at Cody with wide eyes, fear and hurt swimming through them and Cody almost falters. Noel’s quick to school his face into a mask of indifference, though, and he glares up at Cody.

“What? You gonna fucking shoot me too?” Noel laughs harshly and spits blood out to the side, running the back of his hand across his mouth to get rid of the blood coming out of his nose. “Now that we've basically made it to Alberta, you don't need me anymore, is that right? Had someone else do the hard work for you, got off a couple of times, and that’s it, huh?"

Cody feels a stab of pain in his chest at Noel’s words and he wants to shake his head, tell him _no, you fucking idiot, I'd follow you anywhere you go, don’t you get it? _

But he's holding a fucking gun pointed at him, and Cody doesn't know if this is something he can come back from. He wants to forget about all of this, pretend its never happened and move on, but there’s still so much hurt and anger coursing through him. Noel’s words had cut deep and latched themselves inside of him, making him even madder.

They stay like that for what feels like an eternity. Glaring at each other uncertainly and not speaking. The only sound filling the air is their labored breathing.

"Fucking do it, then,” Noel eventually says, and he leans forward until the tip of the gun is pressed against his forehead. "Seems like you remember everything I taught you." There's blood in his teeth when he smiles again. He looks dangerous, even though the gun is trained on _him._

Cody's heartbeat is beating so loud in his ears, and he knows Noel's feigning confidence. He can see the panic behind his eyes and Cody suddenly feels absolutely disgusted in himself. He turns the safety lock back on and tosses the gun to the ground, looking down at it with disgust, and a look of relief washes over Noel’s face before he lets himself fall back on the ground.

Cody picks up his glasses, broken in half, lenses cracked and then turns to pick up his backpack. He stops when he finds Ollie curled up in there, quivering slightly. His heart breaks even more at the sight and he tries to pet him, but Ollie cowers away. Cody bites his tongue and decides to just leave the backpack.

“Fuck you,” he says in a monotone voice to Noel. He's still on the ground, panting and holding on to his side. “I can make it from here. Thanks for everything, _Tampa_,” Cody calls out mockingly, but his chest tightens as soon as he turns around and suddenly he can't breathe.

He hears Noel laugh and it’s nothing like the soothing, warm, familiar ones that Cody’s come to know and love. Cody feels a little like he’s falling apart.

“Good luck with that, _Canada_,” he shouts back sarcastically. “Don’t come crawling back when you end up on the other side of the fucking country! Lost again!" 

Cody doesn’t look back. He just cradles the broken pieces of his glasses in his hands, not caring about how some of the glass is cutting into his palm. 

***

Cody doesn’t know where the fuck he’s going. Partly because he can’t fucking _see_ where exactly it is he’s going and also partly due to the fact that he doesn’t know where the fuck he _is_.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been walking for now, but the sun is beginning to set and Cody’s absolutely freezing. His face and body fucking hurt from the punches Noel got in, but he immediately pushes that thought away. He can’t think about Noel right now and not start to freak out again about what happened. He needs to at least find a place to lie down before he can do that.

He wants to listen to music, but then remembers he left basically everything he owned back in his backpack. He wraps his arms around himself tighter and instead hums the tune to a song he liked when he heard it on the radio. 

He feels like he's back at square one. Like the past half-year didn't matter because he still ended up back where he began; alone and lost, and still not knowing if his family was okay or not.

He tries to focus on memories of his family instead. The sound of his mom laughing, warm and bright; his dad, strong resilient and how he always reminded Cody of a superhero, able to fix anything he put his mind on; and his sister, always so full of love even though Cody knew he got on her nerves the majority of the time. He keeps those thoughts at the forefront of his mind as he keeps walking straight, trying to distract himself from the cold and motivating himself to keep moving.

He eventually finds an abandoned little store off the side of the road and he hurries inside, thankful for a chance to finally rest.

It’s a little dark when Cody makes his way inside the building. Cody’s seen Noel inspect an area enough times to know he should do that, but he’s so fucking tired and couldn’t give less of a shit right now, so he just drops to the floor, exhausted and not wanting to think about anything for a while.

No such luck, though. As soon as he closes his eyes, all he can see is Noel. How he’d looked on the ground, all bloody and beaten because of _him. _How terrified he had looked when Cody pulled the gun on him. When Cody pulled a fucking_ AK-47 _on him. Cody huddles in on himself tighter. 

What the fuck had he been thinking? 

He hadn’t been thinking, Cody reminds himself. That was the problem. He never thought things fucking through.

What Noel had said to him had hurt him, vicious and painful to remember, cutting deep and making him feel worse about what he already had had to do. But then he remembers how he had cut into Noel's skin with his fists and Cody kinda wants to throw up again.

He never thought things through... and now he was here, alone in the dark, freezing, without his best friends, without his family, without Ollie, without _Noel._

Alone with nothing but his thoughts was always a dangerous place to be, but Cody couldn’t help but think about how different it would be if Noel were here with him.

Noel pressed up against his side, cradling Ollie close to his chest to keep him warm as he joked with Cody, trying to get him to laugh. Noel laughing at his own stupid jokes and Cody leaning over to kiss him because the sound just made him feel nothing but pure adoration. He gets lost in his thoughts about Noel, feeling completely empty and knowing he wasn't going to get that back now. He clutches at himself as tightly as he can.

He's so lost in his hurt that he doesn't hear the rustling to his side until it's too late.

The zombie is on him before he even has a chance to understand what’s happening and immediately panic settles in. He tries to sit up, push the thing away, but the zombie is bigger and stronger than him and Cody's head hits the floor HARD when the monster pushes him back down, snarling and snapping his mouth inches from Cody’s face.

Cody tries his best to wrestle the thing off for a good while, pushing away with all his strength and trying to kick out from under him, but he’s starting to feel really dizzy from the hit. The zombie isn’t letting up and suddenly...

... Suddenly, he’s _so _tired. Emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausted. He keeps pushing away at the monster trying to bite down at him, but it’s weaker now.

He’s so tired of constantly having to fight for his like like this. Tired of having to deal with this kind of pain and hurt constantly surrounding him. The zombie keeps snarling and snapping, but it sounds far away and a little like its underwater.

He feels like he's floating away. Devon and Marcus' faces flash through his mind. Then his parents, his sister's, all the holidays they’d spent together, all the good times he’s had with friends. Snapshots of his life flashing quickly before his eyes before it finally lands on images of Noel and he feels his heart clench painfully.

God, he wished he had had more time with Noel. Wished things had ended differently than what had happened.

People in his life that he cared so much for, but now had no way to hear from them. Cody laughs weakly at that. He was so alone right now.

So alone and so, so tired.

The zombie over him is really heavy, and... would it really be so bad if he just let it kill him? It sounded like a pretty good idea right now.

So, Cody just... stops fighting. He lets his hands fall down to his sides and the zombie howls in delight, leaning in for a bite, and Cody thinks _this is it_ when suddenly, there’s a loud gunshot ringing through the air and the heavy weight of the zombie is off of him.

Cody hears a couple more gunshots ring through the air and is surprised to see Noel come into his line of sight. Noel, looking at the zombie with such a murderous stare Cody is kinda scared. Noel, shooting at its body a few more times even though the thing is already down.

Cody stares dumbly up at him, convinced that he’s dreaming because what the hell would Noel be doing here? How had he found him? Ollie’s at his side licking his hand excitedly, rubbing his tiny head against Cody’s hand and whimpering. Cody reaches out to pet him, but his hand feels like it weighs a million pounds.

“God, Cody! You— Why the fuck would you— Why weren’t you fighting _back_?” Noel turns around and his face looks a little wild, eyes moving all over his face, searching for answers that Cody doesn’t have right now. Ollie barks excitedly and Cody grimaces at the sound. His head is hurting like a bitch and when he brings a hand back to feel it, it comes back warm and covered in blood. 

"Oh," Cody says and lifts his hand up for Noel to see. Noel's eyes widen and he’s quick to pull out bandages from their first aid kit from the backpack and he drops down on his knees, holding Cody's head gingerly as he applies pressure to the wound. 

“God, you fucking moron," Noel breathes out. He keeps his hand there, steady and comforting and Cody starts to close his eyes.

"Hey, don’t fall asleep, okay?” Cody groans and keeps his eyes closed because he's so _tired_. Noel snaps his fingers in front of him and Cody opens them, grimacing at the sound. “Don’t. Sleep.” Noel says seriously.

Cody huffs out a weak laugh. “Okay, _mom._”

Noel’s not in a joking mood, though.

“God, Cody, you can’t just—! That-“ Noel stops because his breaths are coming out too fast and he looks so mad, but his hand on Cody is gentle and warm. “Why the fuck didn’t you fight back?” He asks again after he's calmed his breathing down a bit.

Cody feels a prick of irritation run through him. What the fuck did Noel mean by not trying to fight back? He _did_... at first... and then... Cody feels shame wash over him as he realizes he really had just given up, was about to just let the zombie kill him when he still had his family to look for.

“Why’s it f’ckin’ matter to you?” Cody mutters back, his words slurring a little, and, yeah he’s still a little mad at Noel, a little hurt. “Thought you said not to come crawling back to you, ‘sshole.”

"Yeah, and I also showed you how to fucking protect yourself from the fucking monsters! So why the _fuck_ didn't you do that?" Noel bites back. 

Cody feels that same burning anger from before starting to make its way back into his body. He tries to lift himself up into a sitting position but groans in pain at the movement. Noel gently pushes him back down, telling him to _stop moving, dumbass, you'll make it worse,_ and still keeping the soft pressure on the back of his head. Cody settles on just glaring up at him.

"Why do you fucking care, Noel?" he says, voice coming out steadier and raising in volume. "Thought you made it perfectly fucking clear you didn't want anything to do with me, so what the fuck are you doing here?"

”God, you don’t fucking _get_ it,” Noel grits out. Cody laughs disbelievingly and raises his hands in exasperation.

”What the fuck don’t I _get_ exactly this time, Noel?” Cody shouts at him.

“That I can’t fucking lose you, man!” Noel shouts back, looking irritated and hurt, and then... shocked. Like he hadn't meant for those words to come out. He pulls back a little, hand still holding Cody's head, but putting some distance between their bodies. Cody breathes in shakily.

Cody’s mind is still feeling all weird and fuzzy from his wound, but those words make it feel even fuzzier. His body suddenly feeling too warm, and it moves on its own accord as he tugs Noel down by the front of his shirt, bringing him in for a kiss, needing to feel him close.

Noel makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat, going completely still, and Cody thinks he might actually pull away, not want this anymore, and he feels a sinking feeling in his chest. But then Noel is cupping Cody’s face with his free hand, careful not to move him too much, and kissing him back as if his life depended on it.

They break apart after a while and they stay there on the floor, breaths coming out in small pants and foreheads touching. Noel’s eyes are closed and Cody’s watching him, still feeling so fucking tired, but not wanting to fall asleep anymore.

“I can’t lose you too, Cody,” Noel says again and it sounds a little broken but much more steady and sure than he’d been a little while ago.

Cody just nods against Noel’s forehead because he completely understands, he really does but he can’t form the words for it right now, so he just pulls Noel in for another kiss.

*** 

Noel makes Cody rest for an hour before Cody insists they move to another store, another car, another building— just, _anywhere_ else where he doesn’t have to look over and see the motionless body of the zombie, not even ten feet away from him, and have to remember how close he had come to dying. He even suggests sleeping outside in the snow and that’s when Noel finally caves and agrees to change locations. 

Noel helps him up and Cody wobbles slightly. Noel instantly goes to wrap a hand around his waist to steady him and Cody leans into the touch.

“You good?” he asks and Cody nods, leaning more into him. Noel huffs out an amused breath. “Come on then. You’re fucking heavy. You can walk on your own.” His grip tightens around him and he pulls him closer as starts walking, though. Cody just smiles and leans more into his side. 

“‘m tired, though,” Cody pouts. Noel just snorts and guides them outside, not saying anything else, but keeping Cody close as they try and find another place to sleep.

***

Noel makes Cody rest for a couple more days before they start making their way to Alberta again. 

Things are still kinda weird between them. They’ve been skirting around their conversations, careful to tiptoe around anything related to what happened between them. It feels weird, not feeling completely comfortable around Noel, and Cody knows they have to talk about what happened.

With the kid at the store, their fight, and then what happened with the zombie, but he doesn’t know how to bring it up. He's afraid of making things worse again, of pushing Noel away again, so he just keeps his mouth shut.

He knows Noel is probably thinking the same thing. Knows that Noel also feels that heavy, lingering tension between them, but they’re both pretending it’s not there. Cody doesn’t know how to cross it.

He can't exactly come out and say: _Hey, Noel! Sorry for beating the shit out of you, pulling your gun on you, and _THEN_ running off after all we've been through, only for you to have to come and save me again! _

He doesn’t think that would go over well...

So, Cody tries his best to just continue to do what they’re doing and just... ignore it. 

It’s hard not to think about it, though. Every time he looks at Noel, he feels a sudden rush of guilt and shame. Some of the bruises on his face have started to fade into a bluish-yellowish color, but the majority of them still look fresh. The black eye he's sporting looks like it still hurts and his split lip has only just now started to close. Cody knows his own face must not look any better with the way it still hurts, and every time he flexes his hand it’s a constant reminder of how his knuckles had left those marks on Noel’s skin.

He hates the way Noel flinches away from his touch at times. Hates that he’s hesitant to touch him now.

God, he wishes he could take it all back.

***

Things are slowly starting to get better between them.

Cody knows Noel meant it when he said he couldn't lose him, but he also remembers his other words, no matter how hard he tries to forget it. 

_Funny how you’re so against wanting to shoot actual fucking zombies, but when it comes to someone we actually have a chance at saving, you jump at the chance to shoot. _

It rings over and over in his head and he wishes it’d get out of his head. 

Things are getting better between them, but Noel still feels so far away from him. 

He wants to open up and talk things out, but can’t find the courage to actually do it. 

Afraid. Always so fucking afraid.

***

They’re kissing inside of a broken down laundromat a week later. Cody’s hand comes up to cup at Noel’s cheek softly, accidentally pressing into a bruise and Noel winces away automatically. That’s when Cody finally decides he’s had enough with keeping things at arms length. Noel meant way too much to him to lose him again. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Cody breathes out and he reaches out to cup Noel’s cheek again, fingers ghosting over the bruises he caused there.

“Don’t worry about it,” Noel shakes his head, smiling. He leans in for another kiss and Cody presses a hand to his chest to stop him. Noel’s eyebrows furrow down and he leans back. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” Cody repeats again. Noel opens his mouth and Cody knows he’s going to try and push this away, tell him _It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt _and try to change the subject and they’ll just be back to being distant.

Cody shakes his head and this time he presses into the bruise on Noel’s cheekbone to emphasize his point. Noel winces again but doesn't pull away.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I’m sorry for hitting you, for pulling a fucking gun on you, for not fighting back, jesus, Noel, I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean any of that shit.” 

Noel’s quiet for a while. He just looks back at Cody contemplatively before sighing and leaning his back against the laundry machine. Its quiet for a few more minutes and Cody thinks Noel’s just going to sweep this under the rug or say he doesn’t forgive him or just straight out ignore him, but Noel finally speaks up after what feels like forever.

“Aleena,” he says. His face is hard as he looks straight ahead, but his voice is so gentle when he says it. Tender.

“Aleena?” Cody repeats softly.

“She was my... we were together... before...” Noel gestures around them, ”everything turned to a burning pile of shit.”

Noel looks so uncomfortable. His gaze a little broken and Cody feels his chest tighten.

“You don’t have to-“ Cody starts but Noel shakes his head.

“I want to tell you.” Noel closes his eyes for a while and then opens them and turns to looks into Cody’s. “I need to tell you. To fix whatever the fuck is going on between us." 

Cody nods and strokes his thumb over Noel’s hand and Noel closes his eyes again and stays like that for a while. It feels like a lifetime before Noel finally starts speaking again, but Cody would wait longer than that for Noel.

“We were together for 7 years,” Noel starts slowly. He opens his eyes again, but he looks so far away. Cody’s heart hurts for him. “We were going to get married. It wasn’t going to be anything big. We both didn’t have any family left. It was just going to be us and a couple of friends. That’s everyone we wanted at the wedding, anyway.”

“She wanted this small, summer wedding on the beach,” Noel smiles a little, eyes still looking off into the distance and voice far away. “Told her we’d be getting sand every fucking where for days but she said it’d be worth it and I believed her.” Noel stops for a bit and takes a deep breath before continuing. “But then, she... she got pregnant and so we decided to just go to the courthouse instead... said she didn’t care how it happened, just that she wanted to start our life together as soon as possible...” Noel stops talking and he closes his eyes again, his chest rising and falling faster.

Cody intertwines their hands, giving his a reassuring squeeze and Noel’s breathing begins to slow down and even out after a while. He opens his eyes and looks at Cody, eyes glassy.

“She got bit, Cody,” Noel whispers. “At the fucking wedding—“ Noel bites his cheek and he looks forward again. “Dunno how it happened, to be honest. I try not to think about it, but it all happened so fast, and there was nothing I could do, I didn’t know _what_ to do—“ Noel’s voice chokes a little on the last word and he stops talking, his breathing coming out harshly like he can’t take any air in.

"She told me to shoot her and I—" Noel stops talking and leans forward, his gasping breaths making his body shake. Cody bites his lip and tries to rub soothing circles along his back.

Noel’s voice desperately saying, _we can help you! we can find another way!_ echoes throughout his head and he feels so guilty. He turns and takes Noel into his arms, holding him close to his chest, running a hand up and down his back soothingly.

“Every time I close my eyes I see her and everyone else’s body,” Noel gasps out and Cody’s heart clutches painfully and he just keeps trying to soothe Noel down. “There was nothing I could do, I wanted to save them, but there was nothing I could do,“ he keeps repeating over and over in short gasps of air.

“It wasn’t your fault, Noel,” Cody whispers gently into his hair. “It wasn’t your fault,” he repeats over and over until Noel begins to calm down. Eventually, his breathing calms down enough for him to speak.

“I didn’t mean any of that shit I said to you, either,” he says and rests his head down on Cody’s chest. “There wasn’t anything we could’ve done. You saved that kid.”

Cody doesn’t say anything, but the weight that was holding him down finally seemed to lift itself off his shoulders and he bites his tongue to keep from crying.

He just nods and pulls Noel closer.

***

They stay like that throughout the whole night. Neither of them sleeping. Ollie curls himself up in Noel’s lap and he pets him slowly.

“I still see their bodies too,” Cody whispers. “My best friends. In my dreams... I was too afraid to do anything and they—“ Cody stops because he can’t say much more.

Noel just turns his head to look up at him, eyes understandingly soft and unwavering. He runs his hands through Cody’s hair gently and Cody pulls him in for a kiss.

”I can’t lose you, either,” Cody whispers after they break apart. Noel pulls him in for another kiss and Cody feels like they’ve finally reached each other again.

It doesn’t fix all their problems. Cody knows that they’re going to carry this shit for the rest of their lives, but right now he feels like he’s gotten all the answers from Noel’s lips, soft and sure against his.

*** 

It’s getting so fucking cold, even Noel isn’t making fun of him anymore for it.

They’re almost to Calgary, Noel informs him and Cody doesn’t know if he’s excited or afraid. He still hasn’t thought about the possibility of his family not being there.

The only thing he’s sure about right now is Noel.

And Ollie, because at this point they’re a package.

Cody tells him as much and Noel smiles, knocking his shoulder playfully with his own.

“Don’t be jealous that Ollie’s first place in being my best friend, dude.”

Cody rolls his eyes. “Didn’t wasn’t that position anyway, asshole.”

Noel laughs and just kisses him.

Cody wonders if this is what home was meant to feel like.

***

They’re driving in a small beat-up car that Noel managed to hot-wire. The radio’s turned to their end of the world music station and music plays softly in the background as Ollie curls up in Noel’s lap as he drives.

Cody’s playing around with his newly fixed glasses. Noel had assured him that as long as he had superglue, he could fix anything. Cody was skeptical at first, but then pleasantly surprised when Noel managed to put them back together.

“Told ya I could fix them,” Noel smiles over at him. Cody places the glasses back on his face and turns to look at him. 

“Oh, yeah, I totally believed in you! I mean, the first ten tries were rough to watch, to be honest, but I knew you’d fix them on that 20th attempt!” 

“Ay, I fixed them, didn’t I?” Noel flips him off and laughs. “Couldn’t let the cute librarian look die, man.” 

“Oh, my god, I _knew_ that was the only reason you wanted to fix them so badly. You don’t give a shit if I can see or not, do you? You just have some weird librarian kink or something.”

“Oh, no, looks like my book is overdue,” Noel pretends to pout and then sighs. “Oh, well. Guess you’ll just have to punish me, Mr. Librarian, sir. Bend me over the desk and _revoke_ my L-card.” 

“L-card?” Cody snorts. 

“Library card. L-card. V-card. Keep up. Now revoke it.” 

“Jesus, please stop talking,” Cody laughs and shoves Noel’s face away when he leans over to make exaggerated kissing noises at him. “And watch the road, you fucking dork, you’re gonna crash!” 

Noel just laughs and situates himself back into his seat. Noel trains his eyes back on the road, a small smile tugging at his lips and Cody lets himself just watch him as they continue to drive in comfortable silence. The only sound being the soft song playing and Ollie’s little snores. 

The sun’s beginning to set and it falls like golden light over Noel features, making his hair look all fluffy and his face soft, highlighting his best features. His bruises have started to fade. The majority of them pretty much gone already, and it leaves his skin looking open and new. The hazel in his eyes makes the tiny freckles across his nose stand out and Cody still sees them as his own little constellations. 

“Did you know you’re, like, really pretty?” Cody asks without thinking after a while more of staring. 

Noel just lets out a little huff of laughter, a little taken aback.

“Stop staring, you weirdo,” he murmurs, still looking ahead as he says it. Cody notices the little bit of pink tinge his cheeks, though. Cody smiles, mostly to himself, and turns to look out the window at the scenery passing by.

A [soft song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l71vi6umJPo) starts to play in the background and Cody just lets himself listen to the words.

_“I just need you to be always a friend as this sun sets over Dakota's... underneath a crimson ocean of sky, know I'll always want you by my side when we drive...”_

”God, this shit’s so corny,” Noel says but he turns the music up louder.

The song finishes and another one begins and they just sit in comfortable silence.

“Hey,” Cody asks after the song ends and a more upbeat one begins to play. Noel hums and looks over to Cody. “How’d you find me?”

He’d been meaning to ask him ever since he’d shown up to save him, but was waiting for a better time to ask. 

Noel turns to look at him for a few seconds before turning to look back at the road.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, Canada, but you’re probably the most predictable person in the world.”

Cody’s about to argue, but stops himself because, okay yeah. Noel was right. “Okay. And?” he asks instead.

Noel laughs and reaches out to stroke his thumb across Cody’s cheek.

“Knew you’d end up getting lost in the opposite direction so I just went that way, searching in every building ‘til I found you.” Cody doesn’t even feel pain from the bruises he knows are still fading as Noel strokes his thumb against his cheek.

Cody leans into the touch and Noel lets his thumb trail down Cody’s cheek to his bottom lip, pressing down on it gently and then pulling away. Cody wants to bring it back to his mouth and suck on it but it feels like they’re having a _moment_ so he tries to will those thoughts away for later. 

“I’m glad you found me,” Cody says sincerely, feeling touched that Noel still came looking for him even after the terrible fight that they’d had. He wants to say more, but he thinks maybe that’s enough for Noel to understand everything else that he can’t put into words. 

Noel looks at him, a small smile tugging at his lips, his eyes shining. “Yeah, me too.”

”Okay, cool, now pull over so I can suck your dick.” Cody says, after he sufficiently completed the _moment. _

Noel just bursts out laughing but does as he’s told. 

***

The house looks uninviting and cold when they walk up to it.

Cody’s not sure what he expected. He hadn’t been here since he left for Duke, but it doesn’t seem to have changed one bit and he’s a little thankful for the familiarity in all this mess.

He’s holding Ollie in his arms, the little dog had fallen asleep with the rhythm of his steps, but he stirs when Cody stops. Cody puts him down and Ollie trots forward, sniffing around the area and then growling lowly and backing away.

Oh, great. That was always a good sign.

Noel’s hand slips into his and gives him a reassuring squeeze. “You good?”

Cody nods and swallows. “Yeah, just...” he adjusts his glasses with his free hand and keeps looking at the house. “Taking it all in, I guess.”

“C’mon,” Noel motions and steps forward a little. “I’m right here with you.” Cody nods, thankful, and he steps forward.

The house is empty when Cody pushes open the door. The cold air seems to seep its way into his body and he feels just as empty inside. It smells awful. It smells like zombie.

There’s blood all over the walls and his family pictures are all shattered on the ground.

His breathing stops and he feels like time slowed down.

“Mom? Dad?” Cody calls out. Cody takes a step forward, but doesn’t go any further. Noel’s hand is holding him back, stopping him from making his way further into the house. Cody looks back at him and Noel looks uncomfortable, not meeting his eyes.

“Listen, Cody,” Noel starts, but stops. He looks like he’s struggling to find the right words but coming up with nothing. Cody knows that feeling. Noel just gives his hand another squeeze, takes a deep breath and tries again. “If your family’s here... they might not be themselves...”

Cody knew this was a possibility. It doesn’t make the bile in his throat burn any less.

“If... if they’re here,” Noel starts up again and Cody shakes his head. He knows what he’s going to say.

“No.” Cody’s voice has never sounded so detached from his body. “Noel, I— they’re my family, I can’t. I wouldn’t be able to.”

Noel gives him an empathetic look and nods. Swallows. Cody’s eyes follow the movement. He knows what Noel’s asking him, and Cody knows what he’s going to do if his family isn’t... his family anymore. He turns away from Noel and looks around the room again instead.

The picture of him and his sister as kids dressed up for halloween is the only picture left hanging on the wall, but there’s a huge crack right down the middle, separating the two. He moves towards it, shaking out of Noel’s grip.

“I’m gonna go check around,” Noel says softly. He sounds far away, but Cody can hear the small tone of hurt in his voice and he looks up just as Noel makes his way up the stairs, his gun ready.

***

It all happens too quickly. Cody’s still downstairs looking around the living room. He’s picking up the remnants of the broken pictures, trying to clean them as best as he can as he makes his way around the room, as if by cleaning the room, he can pretend that everything’s fine.

He’s about to pick up a lamp from the floor when he hears a loud bang from upstairs, several gunshots going off before he hears Noel shouting out in pain.

Cody drops the lamp, instantly jumping up to his feet and taking the stairs three at a time to make his way towards the sound.

“Noel!” Cody calls out. His heart is beating too loud, he can hear it in his ears, too loud, too loud. 

There’s another loud bang and he hears Noel grunt in pain again followed by more noise and Cody starts running to the door at the end of the hall— his old room.

He reaches the room and opens the door, immediately getting hit with the smell of zombie. The bile in his throat burns.

“Cody,” Noel chokes out. He’s on the floor. His gun is off to his side, too far for Noel to reach. One of his arms is twisted in a weird way, obviously broken, while his other hand is pushing away at the zombie’s face, trying to keep him at bay.

“Cody,” Noel says again and this time Cody can hear the pain in his voice. Noel isn’t looking at him, too busy dealing with the zombie one-armed. He’s trying to kick his way out from underneath him but Noel’s too small. Always been too small without the gun.

Cody wants to move. He tries to move, but he takes one look at the zombie’s face and his world feels like it just crumbled underneath him. His dad— or the thing on top of Noel that _was_ his dad— is clawing at Noel’s arm, trying to tear it away to be able to bite him. Slime from its mouth drips onto Noel’s face, which Cody just realized is also smeared with blood, a large cut above Noel’s eyebrow.

Noel’s pushing at his dad’s face, thrashing his body to get the zombie off, but it’s too strong.

“Cody! Cody, please,” Noel cries out. He sounds absolutely desperate and broken in a way Cody’s never heard him sound and that’s what finally kicks Cody into drive.

He reaches for the gun and that’s when his dad— no, not his dad, not anymore— finally seems to notice that there’s someone else in the room. It looks up and snarls at him and Noel takes that opportunity to use his arm to hit it square on the jaw. It knocks the zombie back a little, but it was more stunned than actually hurt and he’s instantly back on Noel.

Cody picks up the gun in his trembling hands and tries to load it. His heart is pounding in his ears and his shaking hands make it almost impossible to keep the gun steady but he takes a shot, missing completely. The zombie doesn’t even flinch. Noel hisses in a sharp breath.

“Fuck,” Cody cries out in frustration. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He goes to reload again, hands even shakier than before.

Noel cries out in pain for what seems like the millionth time and Cody feels tears pricking at his eyes, because _fuck. _It feels like Devon and Marcus all over again. Not being able to help no matter what he tries, and hearing them scream in agony.He’strying his best to compose himself long enough to get a clear shot.

He takes a deep breath before shooting. Absolutely concentrated on the shot, because he’d be damned if this world took another person that he loved.

He goes to aim and shoots right as the zombie manages to slam Noel’s protecting arm down. The bullet goes through the side of his head, causing blood to splatter everywhere. The zombie’s body stills and falls on top of Noel.

Cody’s immediately at his side pulling the body off Noel. He cries out in pain again and Cody hates that sound, wishes that he wasn’t causing Noel more pain.

There’s blood and grime all over Noel’s face and they’re mixed in with the tears streaming down his cheeks, but he’s alive, he’s _alive_ and Cody feels his own tears finally start to fall.

“Noel,” Cody chokes out and he leans down to press his lips against his before he can stop himself.

It’s not really a real kiss. Cody’s mouth is just pressed tightly against Noel’s, not moving, just wanting to feel Noel safe against him. He pulls off immediately when Noel lets out a pained whine.

“Sorry, fuck, sorry, sorry,” Cody sniffs. He rubs at his eyes, trying to get himself to stop crying, to compose himself a little because Noel’s the one that’s hurt here. Cody wipes at his face one more time and finally takes a look at the damage on Noel’s body. Hoping that he won’t find any bite marks. _P__raying_ he won’t find any.

His broken arm got moved around during the fight and is sticking out in an even weirder position. Cody wants to throw up just looking at it, but he just grits his teeth. His other arm has scratches and bruises starting to form, but it doesn’t seem to be broken or hurt too badly besides that.

Cody holds his breath as his eyes travel down to Noel’s chest. His hoodie is ripped a little and more scratches cover the exposed skin, but it’s when he sees the large red spot on his stomach, Cody’s breathing stops.

He lifts up the hoodie quickly, heart pounding, but he lets out a small breath when he realizes it’s a graze wound from the gun, not a bite. 

Which, okay, still bad, but better than what Cody had expected.

“Noel,” Cody says through a thick voice. He can’t look up at him. Can’t look at his face right now. It’s not a deep wound, but it’s still bleeding and Cody really needs to get it to stop. He reaches for a blanket on his bed and presses down on the wound to stop the bleeding. Noel sucks in a sharp breath.

“Noel, fuck, I gotta stop the bleeding, I’m so sorry. I-” He feels tears start to fall again and Noel’s good hand goes up to cup at his cheek gently and Cody’s breath breaks on a little sob. He didn’t deserve Noel’s gentleness right now.

“S’okay,” Noel says softly. Much softer than he deserves right now. “Just a lil’ graze wound. Guess we just need to work on your aim more.”

Cody huffs out a surprised laugh and wipes at his eyes with one hand, keeping the other pressing down on the wound. “It’s not okay, you’re fucking bleeding.”

“‘m bleeding everywhere,” Noel mumbles, sounding tired, but there’s a joking tone to it. Cody shakes his head in disbelief.

Cody keeps pressure on the wound, still not looking Noel in the face, and Noel uses the hand on Cody’s cheek to turn his face towards his. Cody bites his tongue but still bring his eyes to meet Noel’s.

“Hey,” Noel says. Soft. Too fucking gentle. “Cody, look at me.” Cody bites his cheek and keeps his eyes on the wound. Noel sighs softly. “Cody, come on. Look at me. Please?”

Cody finally looks up and almost instantly looks away because Noel is _smiling_ at him. Fondly and proud and also a little sad and Cody can’t handle it right now.

“Cody, you saved my life,” Noel states easily and his grip on his face tightens for a second. “You saved my life.”

Cody shakes his head, bites his tongue. Wants to say _you wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me_, doesn’t say _but you've saved mine so many more._

Noel seems to know what he’s thinking, though, his grip tightens again.

“You saved my fucking life, man,” Noel repeats with more determination this time. He grips softens and he runs his thumb across Cody’s cheek. Cody leans into the touch despite himself. How could he not?

“You saved my life.” It sounds like Noel wants to make Cody believe this. Like he’ll convince him the more times he says it. Cody knows it won’t happen, feels wait too fucking guilty for it, but is willing to indulge Noel.

“Okay,” he says. Noel strokes his thumb over his cheekbone and Cody’s eyes flutter shut, leaning into the touch more.

“Say it,” Noel says but it sounds a little like a question too.

Cody swallows and nods. “I saved your life.” He opens his eyes and sees Noel looking up at him, smiling softly, his eyes a little sad and Cody wants nothing more than to give this person his whole life again and again.

“Good,” Noel says and then more softly, “now kiss me again.”

Cody doesn’t have to be told twice.

*** 

It doesn’t really hit Cody until after he’s taken care of Noel’s wounds.

Until after he’s stopped the bleeding, wrapped it up in bandages that he found from the first aid kit his family still kept in the bathroom.

Didn’t sink in until after he set Noel’s arm into place, making a makeshift splint from old newspapers and tape he found in the attic, dustier than he’d ever seen it.

  
Doesn’t take time to think about it until after he’s cleaned the blood off of Noel’s face and body and applied bandages to the bigger cuts.

Tries not to think about what happened until after he’s taken care of Noel, making sure he was okay (well, as okay as he could be) and helping him settle down gently on the bed of the guest room downstairs.

Noel grabs his wrist gently and tells him not to check his parent's bedroom when Cody turns to leave to find some aspirin for him. Cody wants to go check because that’s just the type of person he is, but Noel knows him, can see it in his face and tells him as gently as he can that his mom and sister hadn’t made it either.

“Spare yourself the image,” Noel tries to say gently, and Cody doesn’t know how to tell him that the image is already engraved in his head, even if he doesn’t actually go and see it.

Cody nods blankly, though, suddenly not being able to feel anything, and avoids looking at the slightly open door of his parent’s bedroom as he makes his way to the kitchen.

He finds the aspirin and brings it up to Noel with some water because he knows that despite the tough guy act he’s putting on, he’s in pain and needs to rest. He props pillows up against the bedframe and helps Noel lay back down against them, careful of the splint and not to make Noel’s soft, labored breaths worse as he moves around.

It’s not until he’s staring at himself in the bathroom after washing his own face that he realizes that the only person he has left in this world is Noel. 

No family, no friends, no one else but Noel, and he had been so close to dying today.

Not only that, he’s had to shoot a version of his father that, zombie or not, still fucking hurt. His mom and sister were dead. He’d watched his classmates and best friends be torn apart and he almost witnessed that today with Noel.

Cody feels his chest start to tighten and suddenly he can’t remember how to breathe. 

He grips the sink tightly and stares at himself in the mirror. He feels like he had that day when he was alone with the zombie— detached from his body and suddenly so, so tired. He keeps looking at himself in the mirror but can’t convince himself that it’s him that’s staring back.

He opens the medicine cabinet to break away from the stranger staring at him and tries to name everything inside as his breathing starts to finally slow down.

He doesn’t notice how hard he slams the medicine cabinet back closed until he sees the big crack in the glass running down the middle of the mirror. He steps away shakily, making his way back to the room, not breathing until he gets back to Noel.

He curls up next to him, trying his best not to jostle him around and pulls Ollie close to his chest.

He doesn’t sleep. Just listens to Noel’s soft, even breaths and steady heartbeat that proves he’s alive, alive, alive, until the sun comes out.

***

Cody doesn’t sleep the next night, either.

He can’t stand being in this house with his family fucking rotting in it, but he knows that Noel needs to rest for a while more before they can start moving again to...

Well, Cody doesn’t actually know what they’re going to do now.

“Alright, pack your shit, we’re going to California,” Noel tells him suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“What?” Cody asks and Noel’s already getting up and moving around to pick Cody’s backpack up with his good arm.

“We’re going to California to see the fucking beach,” Noel states matter of factly and turns to look at Cody. “Unless you want to go somewhere else?” 

“No, I- California sounds great, but you’re still hurt,” Cody replies but he goes to help a struggling Noel with the zippers on the backpack. 

”Don’t worry about me, I’ve had worse,” he reassures him. Cody doesn’t know whether he’s lying or not, but he can see Noel’s adamant about this as he heads towards the bathroom for supplies they can take with them.

“Let’s get out of here,” Noel says as he comes back with his good hand holding onto the first aid kit and struggling to hold some rolls of toilet paper.

Warmth floods through Cody’s chest at that. Noel being able to understand how much he’d rather be anywhere else than in this house and putting his own pain aside to help him through this.

“Thank you,” he says and pulls Noel into a hug, careful of his broken arm and wound on his stomach. He hides his face in the crook of his neck and just breathes.

He doesn’t see it, but he knows Noel’s smiling against his hair.

***

It’s fucking freezing out. Cody doesn’t really mind at this point anymore. The numbness that it brings is a little welcoming.

They take anything they find useful from Cody’s house and then they head out. Cody gives it one last glance before looking away and taking Noel’s good hand in his. 

“So, why California?” he asks Noel.

Noel shrugs. “That’s where I was before all this started. Guess I felt it was time to finally head back there for a while.” 

“Should’ve been calling you Cali instead of Tampa this whole time,” Cody jokes, but he squeezes at Noel’s hand and Noel squeezes back as he chuckles. 

“And I should’ve been calling you Bad Aim this whole time.” 

“Dude...” Cody sighs.

“Too soon?” Noel smiles at him, but he looks a little apologetic. 

“Absolutely too soon, jesus,” Cody breathes out but he’s smiling back despite himself. “I take back the Cali thing, I should’ve been calling you ‘Asshole’ this whole time like I’d wanted to in the first place.” 

Noel just throws his head back to laugh and Cody’s own laugh joins in.

***

Nighttimes are still the worst fucking part out of all this. 

His nightmares have gotten worse. Images of his family’s unfamiliar dead bodies haunt his dreams and he can’t get enough air into his lungs when he wakes up from them, because they’re actually a reality now rather than just some distant bad dream. 

Noel’s voice is comforting as he rubs his back with his good hand soothingly, telling him to focus on his breaths and Cody tries to match his breaths to the steady rise and fall of Noel’s chest. 

“This shit doesn’t get any easier, does it?” Cody laughs out hollowly after his breathing finally calms down. 

“No,” Noel admits. And then softer, “You don’t have to go through it alone, though.” 

Cody nods. “Thank you,” he says genuinely. He doesn’t say anything else for the rest of the night, but he clings onto Noel tightly. 

***

This time Cody’s driving as Noel sits in the passenger seat. Noel had insisted on driving like always, but his broken hand made it awkward so Cody was adamant about taking the wheel this time. 

He was tired. Last night had been another round of bad dreams. This time, images of shooting his dad had come to mind. Then the face shifted and he had been shooting the kid in the grocery store again, but this time he had been a zombie. Then, it landed on an image of shooting Noel and that’s when he’d woken up in a fit of panic, reaching over to tug a sleeping Noel closer to him and basically clinging onto him as he calmed down again.

“You good?” Noel asks after a few minutes of driving in comfortable silence. 

Cody hesitates and then shrugged. Not exactly sure how to bring up the fact that in his dreams, Noel dying was what sent him over the edge each time. Not sure how to explain how much he couldn’t live without him at this point and how scared he was that he could die at any time and he can’t lose Noel, he can’t—

Cody doesn’t realize he’s said this all out loud until Noel rests a hand on his knee and squeezes gently.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Noel tells him and Cody desperately wishes it was true. Noel keeps his hand on his knee, rubbing at it soothingly but doesn’t say anything else for a few minutes. 

“I’m scared, too,” Noel eventually says and Cody turns to look at him. “I wasn’t lying when I told you I can’t lose you too, man,” he chuckles lowly. “We’re all we’ve got left.” 

“We’re all we’ve got left,” Cody repeats. It sounds a little lonely, but when he turns to look at Noel— smiling softly over at him, eyes gentle and kind— he knows that it’s enough. Has been enough for some time now. He smiles back and nods. 

Noel falls asleep when the sun begins to set and Ollie pads on over to Cody’s lap, looking for another hand to scratch behind his ears and give him attention. 

Cody scratches at the small dog’s head lovingly and does his best to drive as carefully as possible. He does his best to avoid any potholes and anything else that could move the car and wake up Noel.

They don’t ever say _I love you_, but Cody’s been feeling it for a long time now. Has _been_ feeling it since the night Noel had told him his real name. 

And when Noel wakes up later that day and smiles sleepily over at Cody, leaning over to fix his glasses with his good hand so that they rested more comfortably on his face, Cody doesn’t have to hear it out loud to know that Noel loves him too.

*** 

“Tell me about your family,” Noel says one night after Cody’s woken up from another nightmare, panic attack having just subsided.

They’ve been walking for weeks now, only stopping to sleep and eat.

Cody shoots him an incredulous look and Noel just smiles empathetically.

“Listen, I know this is hypocritical coming from me, but it helps to talk about it. Remembering them, how they used to be. Helps you sort through the emotional trauma and shit.” 

Cody huffs out a laugh. “You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.”

Noel smiles cheekily at that, but then it gets a little sad and he nods.

“Yeah, okay, that’s fair.”

They spend the rest of the way to California like that— trading stories about their loved ones like they’re secrets and Cody has to admit, he does feel better once he lets it all out.

The hurt of losing so many people, the anger at even having to be in a situation like this, and the overwhelming relief at having Noel by his side through all of this.

***

It’s finally starting to get hot by the time they make it to the beach.

“Now this is the weather I’m talking about, babeyyyy,” Cody drawls out as their feet hit the sand. “A nice 30 degrees.” 

“86 degrees,” Noel mutters but he’s smiling as he lets Ollie down. The tiny dog instantly starts sniffing around. 

Noel’s arm had finally healed a couple weeks ago, as best as it could, and he had been taking advantage of it by carrying Ollie around practically 24/7. 

They blast music from the small radio, station still set at 99.1, as they walk along the shore. Just enjoying the feel of the water washing up against their calves.

Ollie runs in between them, getting close to the water and then yelping and running back when the waves come in. 

When the sun begins to set, they sit side by side in the sand, watching the sky turn a soft pink.

[The same song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4rKN_qW5DU)that had been playing the night Noel had told him his real name begins to play on the little radio and Cody feels so relaxed and easy, so content with just sitting here on the beach with Noel.

“So. What now?” Cody asks. He’s looking out at the horizon and can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of longing.

Noel shrugs, knowing that Cody’s asking for more than just what they’re going to do tomorrow.

“Guess we just gotta live, man.”

“I think we should go to Mexico,” Cody states. “They have this thing called Splonch down there, and...” Cody mimics a chef's kiss and Noel laughs.

“They have Splonch here, too. We don’t have to go all the way to Mexico for that.”

Cody shrugs. “Yeah but... it could be fun. Get some new scenery, stay down there for a bit and relax for a while. Maybe even live down there? Who knows. I want Splonch, though.” 

Noel chuckles and kicks some sand over at him. “Don’t know if that could be home, but I’m down. Let’s go to Mexico.”

“There’s only one place in this world I can call home... and it’s because you’re there,” Cody says and Noel raises his eyebrows in surprise before throwing his head back to laugh.

“Did you just fucking quote The Birdcage?”

“Damn, I didn’t think you’d notice,” Cody mutters. This only makes Noel laugh even harder, and he turns to cup Cody’s face in the palm of his hand tenderly, pure adoration shining in his eyes and Cody feels like his heart might burst from this look alone.

“God, you’re so fucking dumb.” He says it so fondly. It sounds more like a love confession than an insult and Cody leans in to kiss him.

The sky is still a soft pink, the color lighting up Noel’s face to make him look so soft and open, Cody’s heartbeat quickens and he pulls Noel in for another kiss. 

Ollie chooses that moment to start digging a hole directly in front of them. His little legs digging furiously and kicking up sand behind him and into their faces. 

“Ollie, you can be such a dick sometimes, you know?” Cody whines and takes his glasses off to shake the sand out of his hair. 

Noel laughs and helps him, running his hand through Cody’s hair to get the bigger, clunky pieces out before working on his own hair. 

“He’s just excited,” Noel says and pulls Ollie into his lap, hugging him close to his chest and ruffling his little ears. “Aren’t ya, buddy?”

The sun is still setting, but now a darker pink with some orange and violet coloring into it and Cody smiles over at Noel and hopes that he understands that he meant what he said, even if he had been quoting the Birdcage. That as long as he was with him, he was home.

”_Wasteland, baby... I'm in love, I'm in love with you..._” the guy in the song sings gently and Cody brings a hand to run through Noel’s lovingly. Noel leans into the touch but continues to coo over Ollie and Cody feels like his heart is so full. 

The world was fucking ending, but at least he had him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u sm if you read this whole thing,,, i haven’t written fic in a long time and never a one shot this long so if you liked this *jeb bush please clap voice* please comment...


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